Fifty Bucks well spent!

Well, apparently I’m going about this “teaching your kid to drive” thing all wrong.

And given the trauma that I was going through (still am I might add) after our little jaunt on Friday night, and me making the decision to let someone else teach him how to drive and feeling like a failed parent, I decided to read the literature that we were given at the first meeting with these daredevils, I mean “We’ve Got Nerves Of Steel” people who would be teaching my child to drive and the people that would get in the car with him and show him the ropes on the roadways.

Turns out that the first thing I should’ve done with #1Son and the journey into driving was to go to a parking lot. Yes, a parking lot. Where we would do the following:

Cockpit Drill
Okay, a little help on this if you will. What is a “cockpit drill”? They don’t tell you. They just write the words down as the first thing to do in a parking lot.

Starting and Stopping Smoothly
I’m assuming that this is finding out if your child has enough muscle control in their right foot to not give you whiplash.

Backing Straight, Right and Left
I suppose you should only proceed to this step if you don’t have whiplash. Keep in mind however, you may end up with a visit to the chiropractor to realign your spine should he do not so good on the smooth start and stop and you decide to proceed anyway. They give you these practice suggestions in order for a reason!

Hand over Hand Steering
I can see this could be problematic. #1Son is 6’ 5”. He’s driving The Cav. There just isn’t enough room “in the cockpit” for him to try “hand over hand” steering. Besides, he says he needs to have his left arm resting on the door. He just can’t drive with two hands. And driving with two hands isn’t cool…two fingers perched on the bottom of the steering wheel? Yes, Two hands in the 9 and 3 position? No.

Should Checks, Blind Spots and Signaling
You mean I should let him take his eyes off the road (or parking lot in this case) and actually shoulder check? We’re in a parking lot! An empty one at that! How many people could possibly be driving beside us that he’d need to shoulder check?

I say, let the professionals do this. Let them refine him into as good a driver as he can be at 15 ½. Let them, in their steel armoured cars, take him out to the parking lot. They have dual gas and brakes. They have a steering wheel and mirror. They have nerves of steel and do this for a living.

Yeah, I’m failing at this part of parenting. But I also knew I would. That’s why I paid for the course.

And I now see why I would've paid double!