Just a passing phase....my ass!

Someone want to tell me what’s wrong with the youth of today? Please.

What part of “turn the light off when you leave a room” is so very hard for them to understand? Or, how about “no food in the basement”, “put it away when you’re done with it”, “please put the seat down when you’re done missing the bowl”, “dirty clothes go in the dirty laundry hamper…..yes, that one right there….next to the washing machine”, “clear the table and rinse and stack the dishes”….I don’t know, I think they’re pretty well straight forward statements. No twisting of words that would require a degree in linguistics to figure out exactly what it is that has been said.

I’ve got 3 of them now. Youth’s that is!! (Sorry, have no clue if that’s correct, you know, with the apostrophe and stuff.) Yes, #2 has entered that phase of life known as “hey Mom, Dad, I’m soooo gonna make your life awful for the next 4 – 5 years”. And by three, I mean yes, ALL THREE OF THEM!!!! Doesn’t matter how old you are, apparently, if you're male and live in my house, you never really leave that phase. You just learn how to cover it up and appear somewhat rational. You know, all four wheels on the ground, act like you’re playing with a full deck, look like the sharpest tool in the shed…. but only when you absolutely have to….

I call this "Hell On Earth".

Earlier this week I had drafted a blog and it was a complete and total gripefest. There were a number of well written (in my opinion anyway, you’ll never know!), descriptive paragraphs telling of just how life is in this house for me, the sole female, in a male dominate household. No, I didn’t say male dominated household, I said male dominate! There is a huge difference you know….

And I decided not to post it. It was written in a passing moment, one of those things that if you were actually saying it out loud, you would say to yourself “Did I really just say that out loud? Shit… I meant to only think it.” Yeah, it wasn’t pretty. And then I had to get to thinking about writing something that I could actually “say” out loud. Which, for me, was a first. Yes, a confession. I actually decided to instill a little bit of discretion into what I write that I might like to post. Instead of babbling off at the fingertips, putting out here whatever decides to enter my brain and make its way down to the keyboard, I decided to read it before I posted it.

WON'T be making that mistake again....just kidding.....maybe.....

It's just that, well one day, maybe my one of my future daughter-in-laws may discover this and read it and say to themselves “WTF????….You’ve got to be kidding me??…I am NOT putting up with THAT shit” and end up NOT being my daughter-in-law! The boys can read it all they want…I don’t care…They’ve lived it! That's the fact, Jack.

It’s the females I’m worried about!

I have to break it to them gently. In oh-so-subtle ways, let them know just what they’re getting themselves into, should they decide to spend the rest of their lives with my sons.

I think need a psychology course or three!

Friday Random Roundup

FRIDAY
Not much here this week. Far too brain tired as I've had to refresh the brain in things not only technical BUT mathematical....! Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Excel????

PORTABLE MUSIC
It died. My mp3 player. And now I need a new one. Just when I got used to how it works... like I need another learning curve!

PUPPY UPDATE
Nikki.... Fiesty little thing she is! Gives her mom and dad a what for every now and again! And getting big real fast!

BACK TO SCHOOL
Thank GOD!!!! It should've happened last month already...

LONG WEEKEND
Will be centered around shopping and sports and the kitchen. Back to school purchases that need to be made; football that needs to be viewed; golfing 9 holes (sorry SMG...we need to get the giggles out of the way first, then we'll do some "real" golfing!) that has been too long coming; baking which is a complete and total pre-requisite if my children are to have any friends this year (I make the best chocolate chip cookies, just ask them...their friends I mean...my boys only like my oatmeal cookies)

That's it, that's all....

Happy Long Weekend!

Oh just be quiet!

Today’s blog was going to be all about my recent shopping experience at La Senza..I was going to tell you all about the initial motivation behind the visit (gift card saying "Here, use this for your new body!"), and then I was going to tell you all about the visit, including the details of how a woman, one I’ve never met before in my entire life, was touching… never mind…a little off course here… I was going to let you know how this experience was very different from the previous experiences. And I was going to go on and on and on about it all.

But, lucky for you, I won’t.

Because I’m nice like that.

Instead, I’m going to tell you about my evening. And, by the end of it all, ya’ll will just KNOW why I’m the girl and not the boy! And that is why I bake and stuff....

The hunting "platform” is back up and running. You know, that six foot tall "tree stand" that was built last year. The 8' x 12', need to climb the stairs to get into it tree stand....

And, due to the incredibly brain taxing week I’ve had, I felt that I needed to be taken for a ride on the quad (yeah...much like the lawnmower, they don't let me drive the quad either!) and just go and sit back there, high above the ground, out of the way of the mosquitoes, escape from the dogs and the kids and the dishes and the bathroom that needs cleaning and the laundry that needs doing….wait, shit, off track again….

Just go to the back and sit and watch and just be quiet.

Picture this if you will….

Earlier today (on the phone):
Me: Pick up a bottle of grape will ya?
SG: Why?
Me: Cause I want to go to the back and sit on the platform and watch for deer and enjoy some grape....
SG: Why?
Me: Just do it…okay?
SG: Why?

I suppose I should’ve realized right then and there that maybe I was heading into territory that I probably shouldn’t head into. That perhaps this wasn’t a spot that really invited those of my gender.

But I didn’t. I carried on (like you thought I wouldn't....LOL).

Post dinner, I continue to pursue the platform and wine idea. And, much to the chagrin of SG (or so he tries to makes me think....seriously....he did get the grape!) we got on the quad and headed out to the back.

Fast forwarding a bit, there we sat, looking at the fields and the combines working the fields and me, just not thinking about anything. Just enjoying the quiet and the grape.

And then:

SG: (whispering) “Look!!….over there….a buck!”
Me: (not whispering) “Where?”
SG: (whispering) “Ssshhhhhh”
Me: (whispering) “Where?”
SG: (whispering) “Over there”
Me: (not whispering) “Over where?”
SG: “Ssshhhhhh!!!!”
Me: ….silent…..

For the most part, all SG does is from here on in is whisper and all I do speak....apparently far too loudly!

SG: “See it?”
Me: “Where? I can’t see it.”
SG: “Would you please just be quiet and whisper?”
Me: “Okay”
SG: “Look…..over there” (finally pointing his finger)
Me: (whispering) “I see it!!! wow, soooooo cool”
SG: “Very goooood!! You were quiet”
Me: “YOU be quiet!”
SG: “Ssssshhhhhh!”
Me: “Okaaaaayyyy…sheesh” (not whispering)
SG: “Let’s go”
Me: “Why?”
SG: “Because apparently you don’t know how to be quiet. There’s only so many deaf deer out there and I don’t think a lot of them pass by this way.”
Me: “No, I’ll whisper, really, I will”
SG: “Last chance…I won't bring you back here again....”
Me: “Okay, I’ll be quiet
SG: “F*^#!!!!!! (imagine that coming out of someone’s mouth who is apparently “whispering”!!)
Me: "Don't swear!!!"
SG: (shaking head) “Would you pleeeaaase just be quiet?????? (A very loud whisper if I do say so....!)
Me: "Okay....I'll whisper"
SG: “That’s it, let’s go”
Me: “no, no….I’ll be quiet….really….I will”
SG: “Last chance.....I mean it”

And, various versions of this conversation were repeated for the next hour or so….Until the tears of laughter were running down my face and I reeaaaalllly needed to go to the bathroom.

And, while it’s incredibly peaceful and quiet back there and sometimes I wish that I was welcome to be a part of the “the platform” thing that these guys of mine do....apparently, I don't know how to be quiet.

I just know how to laugh.... and bake.

I'll take it, thanks.

Smells like August

Ah yes, the wonderful scents of the season have begun to waft their way under anyone's nose that is within smelling range.

That's right. I'm talking about fresh cucumbers, sliced and lightly salt and peppered. There's nothing quite as fresh smelling as that! Cucumber and tomato salads, in a magnificent sour cream based dressing that are just to die for!

And the toasted tomato sandwiches that are sadly missed from October to right about now. They just don't taste the same when you've bought the tomatos from the store. You have them for breakfast, lunch and supper, and while you just can't seem to get enough of them, you also can't have them untoasted. Untoasted tomato sandwiches, well, that just doesn't happen. It gets to the point where the roof of your mouth is so torn up from all the toasted bread that it's absolutely painful to eat another one, but you do it anyway. They're only that fresh for so long!

Corn on the cob, drenched in butter and salt...now that is some kind of wonderful as well. You can have it boiled, you can have it grilled, you just have to have it! And lots and lots of it.

The scent of dill and vinegar permeates everything in the house and it smells like one giant pickling factory. And the secret spice that helps make the best Salsa in the world wafts through the air, making the craving for tortilla chips almost unbearable!

Yes, its August.

And it smells mighty fine!

Okay, okay....pictures...and a word or two

As requested....photos. But writers to the pocket lint email should make up their minds, I mean seriously, words or photos...take your pick! Nah, never mind, I'll do my best to indulge both!

Crabapple overload around this place these days. Jelly, jam, sauce, even got some wine on the go (as if you didn't think I would!)

Big buck spotted on a day trip.

Nice bonfires, lots of them!

How is THIS for a little bit of awesome?

The guys. Oldest to youngest. The height wars have begun...! I am the shortest one now, btw.

Snorkelling

More snorkelling

Sleeping like that has got to give you a headache!

And just because I really love this one! Never mind the spots on the window....just look at the bird!

Friday Random Roundup

GOODBYES
Hopefully today’s was the last one for a long, long time. I’m sorry but there just isn’t enough tissue in the world for this to continue.

WORKOUT
Yes, it is just as bad this time around as it was previously when I missed 3 weeks. But this time it was coupled with 2 weeks of good eating and too many beverages…ouch

PICTURES
They’re coming, they’re coming…sometime this weekend. Geez, first you don’t want the pictures, now you do!

POST VACATION
It feels like it didn’t really happen….and it’s only been 4 days!!

COUGARS
Are woman supposed to feel like they’ve been complimented when someone tells them they’re a “cougar”? If not, then someone’s life will be utter hell for the next little while

OFF CENTER
All is well once again with the tree as it is now straight and I’m no longer feeling crooked

Two Hundred and Ninety Four

Yes, 294.

That was the number of emails waiting for me upon my return from my vacation.

Now, if I take away the 44 that were from the spam blocker, (two of which needed to be released, but they don't count, they were kind of spammy... damn donation requests!) that leaves a whopping 250 pieces of email that required my clicking on them to open.

And if I subtract the 3 that were from family, and the 5 that stated I was over my size limit in my mailbox (hello??? two 7 gig emails…people, compress your s*@#!!, I've only got 15 gig!!!) I’m sitting at 242.

All of which needed some sort of attention on my behalf.

It took me until 10:18 am to get through them all and do what was needed to be done in order to move them from the inbox to either the archive folder or mark them for follow-up.

And I started this process at 7:52 am.

Frankly, no one should be this popular.

It’s Oooovverrrrrr!

Two weeks and a day of vacation have almost come to pass. And while I enjoyed every single minute of it, I wish there were still a few more days, like you know, four. That way it would’ve been a solid 3 weeks. But alas, the place of employment says unless I’m leaving the country, no go. There is more time off for me later this year. Just getting to it will be the hard part!

The second week of vacation brought some interesting things that were done. We went to a couple of places that I’ve never been, which was really kinda cool. Kinda neat to see all the working people, well, working, and me, a working person, not working! I was smiling inside! Held close to a half million dollars in my hand. We acted like silly little tourists at one of the favourite attractions in the city. Found an excellent bottle of red grape at a private wine store (should order a case before we’re not able to order a case – more on THAT later!). Did some snorkeling and swimming. Well, I didn’t snorkel. I have serious issues with having my face planted in the water and still being able to breath. Even for 20 seconds! There’s something just not right about that. So much for being a Pisces, eh? Maybe one day I’ll get over it, but for now, yeah, no. The boys however, thoroughly enjoyed it. A crystal clear lake, not too cold and tons of fish and stuff to be seen. Apparently, there are numerous car parts down at the bottom.

Ate well over the last two weeks. Really well!! And, while I haven’t stepped on a scale, nor brought out the tape, I’m fairly certain that the huge loss reported earlier has been reduced. But that’s okay. I was on vacation. And things will get back to normal come tomorrow. I’m hoping that in no time all will be well again and further reductions will be forthcoming (what is that song? Dreamer, You Silly Little Dreamer!!)

The newest member of our family has settled in quite nicely. There weren’t any acceptable name suggestions (hey, I wasn’t the one making the decisions here!) so Nikki it is. But for all you contributors via comments and email, the first Margarita is on me! Frankly, I think we need our heads read, but hey, what’s another mouth to feed? We had her at the vet last week, a slight problem in her knee. She’s currently on anti-inflammatory’s, which are showing signs of working, but we were told to limit her activity in order for the knee to heal. Yeah, okay Mister Dr. Vet, you try and keep a 3 month old puppy on “limited activity”! Apparently Dr. Vet hasn’t had any pets or children himself!

And the real kicker to the past week was the purchase of a new vehicle. Yes, a new family vehicle that SG will drive and no doubt enjoy to the fullest. Well, once he’s gets over the heart attack he nearly had at the thought of having to go into debt. No worse than me I must say. We’ve been a long time without any additional debt and well, now, we’re in debt. It’s amazing how a couple of signatures can do that. But, it is brand spanking new and with the purchase of the extra warranty, essentially we are worry free for the next five years. Provided of course, some cute chick in a short skirt doesn't wave at him and he gets into another accident! I’ve indicated that I would like the windows tinted as dark as legally possible, however for some reason, he’s put kibosh on that.

Took some awesome pictures, which will follow later.

Thanks for indulging my reprieve from the blogging world this past week. You can expect a return to normal.

Well, whatever normal is....

20 hours away from the end of vacation,

Jodie

Finally, it feels like vacation

Man oh man, who knew that you all wanted to read my words and not just look at my pictures! The Pocket Lint email was full (well, okay, maybe not full, but there were some in there) indicating that while I'm not that great of a photographer, you really did want to read something and not just look at pictures. And I heart you all for it!! LOL

It took a week, but I can maybe say that it feels like the vacation mode is finally kicking in. While last week was a little chaotic, today was spent doing absolutely nothing except complete and total relaxing. Well, of course we have to take into consideration doing the dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, and three loads of laundry (don't worry, pockets were empty...tee hee hee). But it was all said and done by noon and then, well, we carried on with the relaxation.

Well, at least I did.

#1 was working. #2 was at a friends. SG was gathering bales for the septic field (I know, I know...it's only August, but you get when the gettin' is free!) Just me and the pool and the oh so frosty "cans" in the fridge!

Having recovered somewhat from my injuries earlier this week, it was nice to be able to actually climb up the ladder and into the pool and float around for a couple of hours. Fill in the tan lines (you should all be happy to know that my right arm is now the same colour as my driving arm...for this I am pleased), have a couple of refreshments (you just keep 'em in a small cooler on the ladder, works great!) And I can honestly say that if today had been during the week, I probably could've got away with doing all this sans swimsuit. But it was Sunday and the usual quadders were back there, not to mention the neighbours who are somewhat neurotic and need to mow the back "40" every few weeks. Seriously, they must go back at least 10 acres...and they never use it!! It's so funny (and cute if I do say so), they head out, each of them on their own riding mower and ride, side by side, almost like synchronized lawn mowing...sporting these huge hats and covered from head to toe in light coloured clothing (hello?? it's like 32 degrees out here and the sun is blazing, ever heard of sun screen and bug spray?) But all in all, it was a little piece of real nice.

And did wonders to send home the message that yes indeed, you are on holidays.

So, my next eight days will be filled with a whole lot of the same. I hear there's some rain coming but that's okay. I'm on vacation and relaxing. And when the rain goes away, that'll be okay too. I'm on vacation and relaxing. Toss in some days trips (you know, to keep the boys off my case) which no doubt will include a trip or two to the city (didn't really want to do that, but, whatever, they need the exposure - I can't remember the last time they saw a city transit bus....hey, now there's an idea....) and that'll be okay too. I'm on vacation and relaxing.

The only thing I know for sure, is that I don't know anything for sure!

Later folks....

Some Fruit, Some Flowers, And a Veg

Remember this?

Now look at it! There must be at least 500 apples on this thing.

This is the green apple tree. I like these ones.

Tart cherries which I'm thinking probably have some use in this world.

And, because I indicated so, here's your veg!

You can rest assured that the first one of the season did not last long after the picture was taken. I popped it into my mouth and it burst and out came incredible sweetness!

I know, I know...pictures, nothing but pictures. But, in my defense, there hasn't been a whole lot of pictures until the onset of this vacation of mine. There were far too many words prior, so now, you get to just look, not read, not think. Sorta take a vacation from the words.

Besides, I'M THE ONE ON VACATION HERE PEOPLE!!!! I'm doing my damndest NOT to think!!

Started the day with the "rise"

I pulled the big geek this morning and watched the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics, live. And I don't think I've ever been as impressed as I was with this one. Just spectacular in everything, including the message.

Gave up on my football team early and re-watched the ceremonies. Still just as moving.

And here's some incredible cuteness. Why do I have the feeling that I've got another follower?


And I may as well finish the day with the "set".

Friday Random Roundup

TOILET TALK
There are currently seven, yes 7!!! tubes of toothpaste open in this house. And not one of them has the cap on or the attached lid closed. Why is that? And how in the hell did we go through 1.5 litres of shampoo in 10 days? Particularly when I'm the only one with hair!

PUPPIES
All gone except for our little Miss Nikki. Sportin' a fancy new pink collar and her very own food and water dishes, she's a happy puppy.

AUTOMOBILES
Looks like we might be looking for a new one. SG's is making some awfully rude noises from under the hood. Just when you figure it's going all good, it turns out it's just a trick trick!

PINK LEMONADE
And Vodka. I don't like to say never, but I WILL say it'll be one helluva looonng time before I do that again!!

WEDNESDAY
Where'd you go?
Oh...
Yeah....uhm...
See above

VACATION
Has been absolutely fabulous! Lots of R & R, some long standing domestic duties and projects completed, some real fun stuff and some just okay fun stuff. This week went by too quick. Gonna have to slow it down for the next one!

Happy (Vacation!!) Weekend

Picture Post

Right around 6 am this morning. First good one I've seen in a while.


When she gave it to me, she said it was a pretty plant. She said the flowers were gorgeous. All in the eye of the beholder I guess.

'
Now this is something nice to look at!

Teach your pups to swim day! None of them drowned and they kept running back to the pond for more!

Imagine walking out the door and bumping into this?!!

Friday Random Roundup to follow.

Never mind the Fish!!

Let's talk about houseplants. And their existence under my care!!

Back when we lived in the "palace", there wasn't a whole lot of light, so the plant scene there was rather non-existent. This was hard for me. I used to have a ton of plants when I lived in the apartment, all thriving and doing well and, you know, living. But then, I had to get rid of all of them because, one, the new house was too small and two, there just wasn't enough light for them to thrive.

Bring on the new "shack" and well, there is nothing but light. Lots of windows. Lots of brightness. Lots of room. So plants once again began to surface. Lots and lots of plants. But you know, somewhere within the lines of communication between SG and I, well, I thought he was watering and he thought I was watering and, you know...dead plants there were. And plenty of them!!

Then, we was given a slip of a plant to start and keep for our own. It really meant a lot to both SG and I. It was his grandfather's plant and Mom had kept the plant alive for all these years.

I rooted it and planted it. And it did really well.

And then, well, that watering thing came into play once again. And it almost died.

So I took what was alive and re-rooted it and again, re-planted it.

I'm not making excuses here, but apparently plants do need water and fertilizer and stuff.

So now, I'm left with this.


And this.


It's apparent that I have problems keeping things other than fish alive. Thank God my kids made it this far!

And if it makes it through this third time around, I am not taking responsiblity for it. SG has now been put in charge of the plants. No ifs, and's or but's about it.

Colour blind or hard of hearing, answer me this

A conversation.
In the kitchen.

Me: Does the neighbour like green beans?

SG: Yes.

Me: Does he want some?

SG: Yeah, he was wondering when the picking was going to start.

Me: It’s started. You’ll have to take some over to him later then.

SG turns to look in the sink

SG: Oh, I thought they were yellow beans.

Me: No. They’re green….. Hence the word “green”.

SG: (insert the not very nice phrase that contains naughty language telling someone where to go here)

Me: Well then....I'll just be doing that! And probably in a hand basket!

Mmmmm....Butter!

At least that was the intention of this post! You see, August is a good month. I take vacation....it's the month before the kids go back to school...it's not too hot...the garden starts giving forth...it's all good! And... I get to indulge in butter! Lots and lots of butter! With the the green beans and zuchinni and the corn on the cob!!! well, you know....you have to have butter with all that goodness!

But I absolutely have to tell you about this instead.

Driven in from the outdoors by the horrendous mosquitos out here in north country, we are left to amuse ourselves. Some of us watch TV. Some of us take a nap. Some of us do the dishes and the laundry. I really have transfer some of this domestic goddess crap over to somebody else around here! Anyway, I was matching up socks and heard #2 say "MOM, come here, quick! You gotta see this."

I come into the living room to have him and SG point this out to me.


A tree frog.

On the outside of my living room window.

All I could think of was "THANK GOD!! it's on the outside."

They grabbed the camera and must've taken 20 pictures of this damn thing.


Various angles.



And then, get this, they came looking for a jar! You are NOT! bringing that thing into my house!

I lost. They did.

And I was forced to look closely at the tree frog in the jar. I told them that the pictures on the camera would be sufficient, but they weren't letting me get away that easy.

I better not be dreaming about frogs tonight....if I do, it'll be payback time.

Time to Step Up People!

And entertain ME for a change.

I know you all enjoy this blog (or at least tolerate it!) and some of you comment and some of you email, hell, some of you even phone to talk about it!

But now it's YOUR turn.

Meet the newest member of our family.


And she currently is without a name. This is the former NC (yes, I lost my battle to keep Tiger Lilly, NC really likes SG and he does need a dog to call his own I suppose) and she is currently being called Nikki. Sometimes I call her the little bitch, but for the most part, it's Nikki. But you know, Nikki isn't quite the right name for her.

So I need you to fill the comments section with all of your suggestions for a name for our new girl. You don't need to say who you are. Just do it anonymously.

Just Do It!!

I'm out of creative juices at the moment and we really need to settle on calling her something.

And, if your name is chosen, you'll win a prize.

I'll make you one of these!



Strawberry or Lime, your choice. I can do both equally well. They're reaaallly good.

Friday Random Roundup

Not much here today (or for that matter the whole week!), been a real bitch getting through this one. And don’t ask about the "work bombs" because I can’t say anything yet….well, unless you phone me….

OTHER DRIVERS
Particularly the one this morning..Yo! You, the Audi…Hey bud, just so you know, no one (and I mean NO ONE!! Not even the police!!!) do 50 through here, let alone 38...

SELF DISCIPLINE
Apparently this trait is possessed by some people. But someone should tell these people that it’s not really good, nor admirable, to have THAT much self-discipline…Live a little...

OFF CENTRE
The damn tree is still crooked, but apparently will be straightened next week.

INSURANCE STICKERS
It was really too easy to talk my way out of trouble with the nice officer who pulled me over asking me where my renewal sticker was for my auto insurance. I did however, have to bend down and place it on the license plate right there on the side of the highway.

WORK GOODBYES
I’ll say this now, because I couldn’t say it on Tuesday without turning into a babbling, blubbering idiot! And I know he reads this drivel I put out here so here you go…. I am going to miss you tons!! I already do. I love you lots and you better stay in touch. Well, that was easy.

HOME ALONE
Was awesomely great! Good take-out (you didn’t think I would be cooking did you?) great company, fine grape and an awesome chick flick!

Happy Weekend!