Note To Self

First of all, you never should've missed 3 weeks at the gym. Really, you shouldn't have. Maybe a few days, but really now, c'mon...3 weeks?

And furthermore, where do you get off thinking that you can just come back to the gym and pick up from where you left off? Same cardio, same weights.... Seriously now, who do you think you were kidding?

No wonder you had issues in the shower this morning. Did you honestly think that you could just reach up and lather your hair without any discomfort??? HA HA HA HA HA...You were wrong, weren't you? And then, you got to the office and had to do a little lifting...didn't you look like the weakling....too funny. Oh, and don't you even think about laughing! If anything, it will hurt those abs you didn't think you had. Yes, there are more of them now.

So go ahead, give it another shot tomorrow. We'll see how you survive this one.

Muuwwwhahahah!

Keep it up sweetheart and you won't be able to move by Friday.

First full summer weekend

Personally, I thought it would never come. Never get here. I thought we were destined to have stunted tomatoe and pepper plants and skin that remained a pasty white for the next 2 months.

But it did make its appearance this weekend. It was absolutely a glorious day yesterday. Hot and sunny. I did discover that last year's sunscreen, while still good, isn't that good. We're all a little pink around the edges, some of us more than others. Take for example #2Son...don't listen to your mama boy! Your 12 now, you do know it all, don't you? And who was asking for the aloe gel last night? Yeah, I know, you're not really that smart after all, are you?

The pool was a lovely 24 degrees (we can thank the hot water tank for that - it's amazing how much it warms up when you drain it into the pool four times!) and the new floaters are very comfortable. They just need drink holders.

As well, we managed to stick to the "No TV, No Gaming System, No Internet, Sunday" rule. Well, sort of. I will admit, I kinda snuck on last night to check out one of my favourite web sites, John's on tour you know, I need to find out how those in the Netherlands are liking my boy! but shut it down real quick when I heard footsteps. It damn near killed me, I mean, I'm seriously in withdrawal without my weekend blog reading adventure! No time Saturday morning, and well, everyone was up early on Sunday. Crap. Possibly a bad idea....?

And, I'll have you all know, I did stick to my word about #1Son and his not attending the party on Saturday night (a rarity I know, me sticking to my guns, but I did it, big pats on the back for me!). And while he made it appear he was pissed right off at me, I think secretly he was pleased. If I know him at all, as much as he wanted to go, he didn't want to go. I know he was kind of relieved that he didn't have to be there to try and live up to some of the stories that I think he likes to tell. Might be wrong, but I don't think so... He spent most of the evening out at the bonfire with us and some friends. He was offered the leavings of his Schnapps and Sambuca and declined. He also managed to bring on the obnoxious, which is always a good sign with him. If he sat there, acting the age he looked (and should!), well, I probably would've keeled over and passed out.

Oh, and the boots are back! I was getting a wee bit concerned that those exquisite yellow slippers wouldn't show up this year. And yet again this year, I was proven wrong. Seriously, these things survive in the ditches, why wouldn't they prosper in our flower bed?



Oh, and now, here's the exciting stuff! I got a call from #2's school today, inviting me to the Awards Presentation on Friday. I was sort of surprised because I will be there, presenting one of the Awards. The Parent Advisory Council gives out an Award to the student who has demonstrated wonderful volunteerism in the community. Mind you, we don't get to pick who the recipient is, we just get to pay for it. Whatever. So I said, "Yes? I'll be there." all the while thinking "Uhmmm, no coffee this morning dear?". And then she told me that #2Son is getting an Award. She wouldn't tell me for what, but it's nice that I'm attending.

I was like "HELLOOOOO???? My #2Son???" And she was all "YES, YOU'RE #2 SON!!!". Then I got all misty eyed and hung up the phone. I've only been waiting 10 years for this to happen.

I called SG.

Me: "Clear your calendar for Friday morning."

SG: "Why?".

Me: "Because I'm presenting an Award at the school."

SG "So?"

Me: "Because you should be there to see how well I speak in public and how good I'll be looking and stuff... And besides, #2 is getting one of them."

SG "No shit? Really?? What kind of Award? Academic? Drama? What kind?"

Me: "They wouldn't tell me. I just really hope it isn't the Class Clown Award."

SG "Me too."

And, as much as I could call the Principal tomorrow and inquire, and I know he would tell me, I won't. I will exercise patience and wait and see what comes.

And seriously, I'm hoping that the new school didn't decide to present a Class Clown Award.

If so, I promise you this....I will run and hide.

Edit to add: Apparently #2 doesn't know about it, so if you happen to phone the house before Friday, please don't say anything. TIA!!

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree

Guess who thought they'd do a load of laundry?

Guess who didn't check his pockets?

Guess who's paycheque was in one of the pockets?

Hee hee hee...see, it's not as easy as everyone thinks it is, now is it?

He did manage to save it, dry it and then ask me to take it to the bank for him.

At least is wasn’t Tequila!

You really don’t need to hear the story. Well, maybe you do. I don’t know….

Whatever….here we go.

We found a stash.

We weren’t looking for a stash. We were not snooping. Really, we weren’t. It wasn’t I that discovered it and I AM THE SNOOPER!!!

SG found it.

You see, and here’s the story behind it…the "not snooping" I mean. SG’s brother is in the hospital. And will be for some time. Or at least until they figure out just what the hell they need to do to fix him. And, he’s bored. Incredibly bored. So bored, in fact, that the food staff and nurses don’t even want to see him due to his incredibly ornery nature (no clue whatsoever if it’s spelled correctly – spell check couldn’t identify it so I’m going with it). Anyway, we thought, well, he has a DVD player, let’s go through our rather limited DVD collection and get him some “guy flicks”. Yes, not a whole helluva lot of chick flicks going on in this house….so we’ll bring him some of our movies. And, with the purchased flicks and flicks that SG’s younger sister has downloaded, we have do have a little bit of a selection of guy movies.

Except, we couldn’t find a lot of them. Hence the search of #1Sons room to see what movies he had stashed in there. TV. DVD player. He’s got to have some.

And it was through this “going-through-the-room-looking-for-movies” event that it was discovered.

Root Beer Schapps and Sambuca. A mickey of each. Right there, in the top drawer, in front of God and the whole world and everybody to see. It was almost like he wanted them to be found. And half full I might add!

Now listen. #1Son is 16 in October. And, whilst having the “conversation” (and I say that because it was a conversation, not a “talking to”) last evening, I seem to remember being 16. Well, at least a little bit. But more importantly, I remember being 14 and mis-behaving with Moody Blue and Baby Duck wine. Not to mention the soda pop flavouring of Lonesome Charlie! Junior High and the school dances. Frick. And then I remembered being 15 and the “spiral staircase” at the University. Four of us would split a six pack of beer and get totally bombed. We’d each have one and then each of our “bff's” would share the last two. Cripes, we’re lucky we didn’t catch a disease, given all the spit swapping that was going on the beer bottles!

And, as the “conversation” progressed I found out where he got the booze from. Albeit begrudgingly he did give this info up (and only on my promise that I wouldn’t go after the bastards that bought it for him).

But here’s the dilemma. He’s not even 16 yet. Sure, he’s 6’ 5” and 240 lbs. He looks like he’s 18. Maybe even older. But he’s still a kid.

All I know is that he IS NOT!!!! going to this party on Saturday night. If he's gonna get drunk, he's gonna get drunk right here, dammit! In the safety of his own yard, with his mother looking out for him. You know, just to make sure he doesn't fall into the bonfire.

I am soooo not ready for this.

Please pray for me.

Burrowing little bastards!

Seriously, I need some sleep. I am so tired.

I’m guessing it has something to do with the time of year, and the days being longer and it being light out later. Or possibly could be that the pups have me up late and then up early. They’re on solid food now. Well, solid if you consider taking some boiling water, letting the hard bits soften in the boiling water and then using the hand blender to make it into mush. And this is required 3 – 4 times a day. Starting at, oh, about 5:30 am. Which has really screwed the gym routine. Well, actually the gym routine has been screwed for other reasons for the last week or so, but I swear to you, I’m back on that treadmill tomorrow after work! The mornings are shot, I’m out bonding and feeding pups. After work workouts it is.

Wait, off track here.

Okay.

Or it could be the naps and late nights on the weekends. #1Son has had the close shift lately and as such, my sleep gets interrupted by the alarm and then the going to get him. By the time I’m back home, I’m awake…TV, Internet, another glass of grape, whatever…I’m up far too late.

But I also know that the quality of my sleep sucks too. And this has everything to do with bugs. Wood ticks to be specific. And dreams of wood ticks.

AND ACTUAL FRICKIN WOOD TICKS!!!

ON ME!!!!

TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW!!!!!

FOUR OF THEM!!!

ON MY ACTUAL BODY!!!!!

Okay, now that I’ve screamed, I still don’t feel better.

It seems like this year has been the absolute worst for these ugly little bastards. It really has. The dogs have had a ton of them. And we would’ve put tick collars on them, but we have the pups. Can’t do that with pups. Frick! And apparently, some people living in this house have had lots of them too. #2Son has pulled off a whack, he was counting; I wasn’t listening.

#1Son knows better than to tell me!

And SG has been particularly quiet through this wonderful tick season that I hate.

And, through the process of deduction I think I know who the culprit is that keeps bringing them to the bedroom. And it isn’t Boy Dog. Boy Dog hasn’t been sleeping in our room for months! And Girl Dog has been busy with the pups. So, no dropping of the bugs from them.

And me, well I strip down and do a full body search before getting between the sheets. Lord knows I’ve had enough nightmares of woodticks getting into spots where you don’t particularly want woodticks getting into!!

It has to be SG. It absolutely has to be! He’s not the doing the strip down body search. I know he's not. If he was, THEY WOULDN'T BE ON ME!!! And he’s bringing these fackers to bed with him. Oh sure, he’ll deny it, but this is the same man that had a small canning jar a quarter full of ticks that he’s pulled off the dogs. Some of them the size of small grapes! Don’t ask me why, I guess he just thought it would be cool to freak my freak and collect all these bugs, and then, have the nerve to show them to me!

Man, I need to sleep! But where? Who’s bed? I can’t trust any of them.

Sometimes, I wish they were girls.

And you'll never hear me say that again.

Until next tick season.

Who knows...

Well, I've got lots to say, and none of it is good. And, while I'm tempted to fill your eye balls with all of it, I will be kind and spare you. You don't really want the details of the last 7 days, as much as I want to share them with absolutely anyone who will listen.

Just suffice it to say that I think the "change of life" can just go and bite someone else in the ass! I'm too freakin young for this crap. Living through a hormonal dump is pure hell and quite frankly, I'm surprised the others in the house haven't left and gone to live somewhere else. Even my devoted, faithful companion boy dog has avoided me like the plague. Girl dog on the other hand, well she thinks we're partners in hormonal crime!

So, instead, I'm going to entertain and dazzle you with the pure pleasure that is puppies. And pictures of plants. Yes, plants are pleasurable too!

Okay, I have to warn you, this next one will make you go "Awwwww, so cuuute!

He is actually looking up at his dad and boy dog's nose is in the picture. And I mean seriously, who wants to see a full grown dog nose in that much detail, or that close up. So I cropped.

Your welcome.

I'll be back when I'm in a better mood.

Pictures, just for you.

The apple tree. It's really too bad that we don't particularly like the apples this tree gives us, because we're sure going to have a lot of them.

You know, you really should stop and smell the flowers.

It was only 17 degrees, but he didn't care. Everything was numb, except his head.
The new summer residence.
Yumm! The first gift from the ground. Top that baby with some oatmeal, flour, brown sugar and cinnamon and bake it for an hour.

Let's face it, this is really why you stopped by. Not to read my ramblings, but to see pictures of the puppys. I'm right, aren't I?

Some outside time. They're getting big. They're walking, their eyes are open, they so freaking cute!

Take a trip and never leave the farm

You know, I've never been one to use drugs. Sure, I've induldged a wee little bit of the inhalant kind of "mood mellower", but not one to ever do anything more. I mean, the most extreme I've ever done has been what they used to call "bennies" waaaaay back when I was trying to stay up late in hopes of snagging SG one New Year's Eve. It didn't work. And it was THAT experience that I realized, nope, not, NO!!!!! I'm never doing that again! I've never had such a rough day after before in my life.

But last Sunday night whilst trying to sleep, I was thrown for a loop. Oh sure, I had a few beers during the day and then some wine into the evening. I mean, we planted the garden for crying out loud. I must have some sort of hop in order to do that. Seriously. By having a few drinks while you plant the garden, well, it just makes it more interesting. As the little seedlings begin to surface and you try to figure out exactly what is what! It's the oh so exciting anticipation of looking at black mud for anywhere from 7 - 21 days to see what will come up....and where! Besides, wine in the evening helps you sleep, right?

It was late by the time we came in. And, at this time of the year, there was the mandatory "body check". You know, wood tick season. Two dogs. Two kids. Yeah, you give it a really good once over to make sure that none of the low profile, burrowing, little bastards haven't bitten in. Which I did. And then I went to bed.

And then I dreamt. Horrible, horrible dreams. Nightmares if you will. Wood ticks, burrowing into every part of my body, my eyes, ears, up my nose, between my toes and behind my knees. The little fackers were even tucked up under my armpits. Everywhere!

It was awful.

I woke up in a cold sweat, which, if I do say so, was kinda nice, given the hot sweats (or "chinooks" as they've been referrred to in my world) that I normally endure. But there was still this panic thing that was going on. I stripped down and turned on the lights. I needed to make sure that there weren't any of these burrowing little bastards on me.

It was when SG yelled "what the "hell" (actually, it was the word that starts with "F", but you know, we need to maintain some sort of good rating here) are you doing, turning on the light?" that I realized, I was maybe, kind of, sort of, possibly, having a nightmare and over reacting.

But the memory of last Sunday has lingered with me all week. So much so that I have been going to bed in my flannelette pjs. Yes, covered from head to toe. And, you know, if I hadn't been experiencing the "chinook", I probably would've had my fuzzy socks on as well.

So, yeah. I think I may have had an "acid trip" while sleeping. While not taking acid. Strictly through imagination. Through release of the sub-conscious. Through, okay, hard to admit this one, but perhaps a slight paranoia about bugs???

Paranoia? Crap. It seems so real.