2008 - The Year In Review

So... I was going to write something.

But then, I changed my mind. I mean, really now... you've read it all (well, all that was fit to print anyway, snicker snicker! My parents read this thing you know!!) and I thought why should I use up more space here on the www to just rehash it all? Didn't make any sense to me.

As well... I got lazy. The last month of this year has been a bit of a wild and crazy time, and quite frankly, I'm tired. Plum tuckered right out.

I will, however, tell you this...

2008 was a huge rollercoaster ride. And while I'm hoping for a somewhat calmer 2009, I still want it to be as exciting as 2008 was. Just without the rollercoaster I guess.

(yes, I "borrow" images off the internet)

Happy New Year! May 2009 be everything you hope for.

And then, even more too!

Ciao!

Jodie

And then....

There were seven.

So far.

Hell of a long night, got but a few hours sleep.

But all is well. Pups are big and very very black!

Photos to follow.

1st one is here

Yes, we're having puppies. Well, "we're" not, the girl dog is....

3:23 am ~ first born

Can you say Visual Stimulation?

No, not that kind of visual stimulation!! I don't know whether it was something I ate or just the subconscious downloading after the busy holidays, but man, did I have some wicked, crazy dreams last night.

One of them was I was in this big metal box with two autographed, very rare, Gibson guitars and was being wheeled around the backstage area of some arena. My job was to make sure the guitars didn't bang together. The guy pushing me around in the big metal box was a bit of a crazy ass and thought it would be fun to drive the box around like it was a race car. I kept having to manoeuver the guitars so they wouldn't hit various lights and mic stands and speakers. I woke up right when one of the light kegs came loose from the overhead rails and was falling, right toward me and the guitars...

Then, I was in a high school, looking for someone or something, and I had this big thing cradled in my arms (I think it was a stick, may have been a machine gun) and kept bumping into all these locker doors. It was sort of like they were opening as I was walking down the hall and I kept walking into them. I turned a corner and got whacked in the head with a smaller locker door that I didn't see and it spun me around. Behind me was one of my co-workers and there was a look of shock on his face. He pointed to my ear and then turned and ran. I dropped the big thing I was carrying and felt my ear. My earlobe was missing. The hook of my earring, complete with earlobe attached, was stuck in my glove and I knew I had to get it on ice if there was any chance of reconnecting it. I went to the cafeteria and they wanted me to try the lunch and I didn't want to, I just wanted some ice, but they wouldn't give me any if I didn't try the lunch! I finally said "give me the lunch" and had some of the Quiche Lorraine (don't ask where that meal came from...I don't know!) and they gave me this little tiny cup of ice which melted as soon as I put my earlobe into it. I was getting all stressed and frantic when I woke up.

Yeah, so I spent a little time on the xBox, can you tell? Guitar Hero and Need For Speed fuelled the first one is my guess. Oh, and by the way, I suck at both. I'll admit it. I do. The boys had to leave the room in complete and utter disgust when, after who knows how many times I tried, I still couldn't get past Slow Ride. On easy. And wouldn't relinquish the guitar! It was a good time! I finally gave up because I was fairly certain I wouldn't be able to move the fingers on my left hand if I didn't. The driving game? Uhmmm, apparently if you are a good driver, you shouldn't play car racing games. You'll just lose.

I'm not sure if the second one had anything to do with the stealth game that #2 and his buddy played all afternoon, but yeah, chances are good it did.

But I was very pleased to see when I woke up this morning that my ears are intact and I'm not missing an earlobe.

I think I'll tackle Kung Fu Panda today, see how I do in that one!

And I can't wait to see what kind of dreams I'll have tonight!

Hey Everybody!!!

We're seeing signs of progress over here....

They've figured out how to get it closer to the holder!!

Yay!!!!

I'm in for a helluva New Year!!

Ciao!

Holiday Lessons

1. Make sure you put a lid on the meatballs. If you don’t, they might just end up all over the place as you attempt to navigate your way through a refrigerator that has too much stuff in it.

2. And while you're at it, next year, remember that it would appear you don’t have much luck with meatballs at Christmas time; best not to even attempt it!

3. Very interesting to discover that two teenage boys have a tough time fitting comfortably in Maggie’s back seat. How sweeeeet is that?!!

4. Rum soaked raisins absolutely make the butter tart. They really do. Take the time and pour the rum... if only a few ounces!!

5. Don’t even attempt to play Guitar Hero with a couple of glasses of grape in you. Really. Don’t.

6. Don't even attempt to play Guitar Hero with a couple of glasses of grape in you with a mate who’s armed with a video recorder. Seriously now....DO NOT DO IT!!

7. And, in further gaming news, in case you need to know this, hand/eye co-ordination does not necessarily include body co-ordination. Remember, it is okay to sit down on the couch while managing the game controller for some silly car racing game the males in the house are all hot for. Really, you don't need to stand up and bend over sideways to turn the car in the same direction. Same video recorder scenario in #6 applies here as well....

8. It has been decided that a person needs to have a degree in computer science in order to figure out the newest in DMP's. I was starting to think I was dumb. But I quickly decided that I'm not dumb. I just don't know what I'm doing!

9. Leaving boxes of chocolates and trays of cookies and other stuff laying about the house is not conducive to keeping a waistline slim and trim. Damage control needed... STAT!!

10. And finally, if you head into the holidays with no expectations whatsoever, you won't be disappointed. Only absolutely thrilled with every little bit of it!

And with that, we prepare to head into 2009. I’ll have to see if I can get all my "stuff" together and pull off a stellar 2008 recap. Uhmmmm….. yeah, not so sure about that....

Ciao!

T'was the Night before Christmas

While I know it's supposed to be Happy Holidays, or Season's Greetings or some other politically correct phrasing, in my house we celebrate Christmas.

So, to each of you out there who read the blog faithfully and those of you who have stumbled upon it and keep coming back, Merry Christmas. All the best of the holiday season to you and yours, may it be filled with warmth, love, health and happiness.

I'm letting the fingers rest for a few days. Well, no that isn't it. Actually, I plan on spending some quality time with my family. Well, no, that isn't it either.

If the truth be told, I plan on driving my car. Every chance I get!! Even if it's just up and down the driveway!

Baby, It's Cold Outside, The Last Part

I couldn’t believe my ears.

Slow down????

“What do you mean “slow down”? I’m not slowing down. I want this car. I want to buy this car and I want to drive this car home, right now, this very minute!!” Typing it out cannot express the urgency that was in my voice.

“I know, I know… But you need to step back a minute. Calm down, relax, breathe.”

Easy for him to say. He has a vehicle.

I have a pile of junk sitting in the driveway that had already had a good chunk of cash sunk into it. No wheels. I was feeling stranded, both at home and at work. Not to mention the car pooling - we are not even going there!!

A decision needed to be made and it needed to be made right now!!! was my opinion.

“Okay. I’m breathing again. Thinking logically. I’ve calmed down. And I still want to buy this car.”

“So you liked the way it handled? It felt good? You felt sa...” SG was stalling for time, I just knew it.

I interrupted him, “I’ve already told you this stuff. The car is a dream. It’s great. I feel safe in it, I feel in control of the car instead of the car being in control of me. We’ve already discussed this.”

“Well then, get the nephew to fill out the papers and I’ll be by to sign them on Monday.”

Oh.

I wasn’t expecting that.

I present to you, the newest addition to our family.

Meet “Maggie”.


And yes, it is a very "Merry Merry!!"

Baby, It's Cold Outside, Part Six

I needed to step back out of the incredible excitement zone I was in and do some thinking. Make some decisions.

And not any stupid decisions either!

I headed back into the showroom to take a look at the alternative, the sedan model. I sat inside and took a look around. Virtually the same car as the sporty model, just with a trunk. And the trunk was very spacious.

While it was classier looking than the sporty model, I still wasn’t sure. I really had my heart set on the sporty model. The Cav had looked somewhat sporty. I wanted to continue with the sporty look. I thought that the sedan was a more mature looking car and wasn’t sure I wanted to go mature. Or was ready to for that matter!

As I was standing back, looking at it, giving it the “once over” for the 57th time, trying to convince myself that the car was okay, it would be acceptable, the sales guy came up behind me and whispered, “If you want to see what it looks like in red, turn around and look outside. There’s your car.”

I slowly turned and looked.

Then I went outside and walked around it. It looked like a completely different car than the black one inside the showroom. It looked sharp. It looked fun. It didn’t look quite so “mature”.

I went back inside and called SG.

“Hi. I want to buy this car. I want to buy this car right now."

“Jodie…slow down….”

To be continued

Merry Merry!!

Baby, It's Cold Outside, Part Five

As I pulled on to the highway, I couldn't help but feel like I was doing something I shouldn't be doing. You know, like driving a car I shouldn't be driving with a guy I shouldn't be talking to. But that feeling disappeared in mere seconds as I switched into 3rd gear and experienced driving the cute little sporty thing.

My phone rang. It was SG.

"Where are you?"

"Where am I? What do you mean, where are you?" I said.

"I'm just wondering what you're up to. What you're doing."

I had no choice but to 'fess up. I needed to change gears and couldn't do it with the phone in my hand. "Hang on a sec while I put the phone down.... okay, I'm back... I'm driving the cute little sporty thing on the ring road with a sales guy sitting beside me. Why?"

"How's it handle? Do you like it?"

Uhmmm hello?? Did he just ask me if I liked it? "SG, it's awesome. It really is. It handles like a dream, it's gripping the road so well that I'm doing 100 and can barely feel the bumps and it blows good heat and th...."

I was interrupted. "Okay, good. Call me when you get back to the dealership."

Twenty minutes later we were back. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that I was going to buy this car. I wanted the cute little sporty thing, in red, and I wanted it right now. This minute. Get it ready!

The only problem was, they didn't have the cute little sporty thing in red. Just grey. Yuck. The nephew did a search and found one for me in Calgary. To get it transported would take time, and more money and well, we all know how patient I am....I was not waiting.

What now?

To be continued...

Merry Merry!!

Baby, It's Cold Outside, Part Four

A day went by. I didn't have a chance to meet up with SG and see the truck or the cute little sporty thing that I wanted. And I was feeling somewhat disadvantaged.

When I got home from work, they were still talking about "the truck". I ignored them. I didn't have time, nor desire, to listen. I had a party to throw. Yes, I am now the proud owner of two teenagers.

After a rather lousy night’s sleep, due in part to a living room full of 13 year old boys playing Halo 3 on the xBox that #2’s friend takes with him everywhere he goes... as well as a late night waiting up for #1 who was out at a party, which no doubt had the booze flowing like a river in the springtime and wondering what kind of shape he’d be in when I went to pick him up in the middle of the night, I woke up thinking, “I have to go and see this car. I have to.”

Stating that I was going out finish the last of the Christmas shopping, I headed to the city. I was going to finish up the Christmas shopping, but I thought a detour could possibly be in order as well!

I wasn’t even on the highway! when I was dialing the nephew, telling him I was coming by to see him.

I headed to the dealership first. Because the malls were open late and the dealership wasn't. So it made sense to me to go there first. I walked in and asked to see the nephew. We sat for a few minutes and he said “So, what do you want?”

“SG wants a truck.”

“I know, but what do you want?”

“I want the cute little sporty thing.”

The nephew stood up and advised me that he would get a salesman.

Great.

Just what I didn’t want.

I was introduced to the sales guy and he and I sat down and discussed the cute little sporty thing. Features, benefits, colour, manual or automatic transmission, you know, car talk. Once he figured out that I knew what he was talking about, we had a great time.

“Let’s take the cute little sporty thing for a ride” the sales guy said.

Oh crap I thought.

You have to live here to know what the weather was like on this day. It was snowing. It was icy. It took me an hour and 35 minutes to get to a place that should’ve taken me 50 minutes. It was not a good day to go out and test drive a car.

‘Who’s driving?” I asked.

“I will. I just want you to feel what it’s like to be in it and moving.”

“Okay.”

He got it out of the snowbound parking lot. And out on to the road. And he drove it. And I couldn’t believe how comfortable the ride was. I couldn’t believe how it handled going over the ridges of snow in between the lanes. And on the ice, I could just feel the traction.

We headed out on to the ring road and picked up some speed. Now, I never drive the speed limit in the conditions that we were in. I'm always going a little slower. And I was wishing the sales guy would drive a little slower too, but after a minute, I realized that the car was handling the snow and ice quite well. Exceptionally well actually. I was impressed.

The sales guy pulled off the road, stopped and popped the hood. We took a look underneath and he pointed out this and I pointed out that and we almost had a “high five” moment going on. Then, he said:

“You drive.”

To which I replied “Huh?”

“You drive, see how it handles, what it feels like, you live it. Experience it.”

And, as I slid into the driver’s seat, adjusted the steering wheel and seat, pushed in the clutch and put it into first, I said to myself “You probably shouldn't... no wait.... YOU REALLY SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS!!"

To be continued….

Merry Merry!

Baby It's Cold Outside, Part Three

Needless to say, the testosterone in the house glommed onto the literature that had the pretty picture of the truck on it. It nearly turned to bloodshed as they struggled to be the first to take a look. I needed to step in and stop it.

"I'm not getting a truck."

You could've hear a pin drop it got so quiet. The literature was released from the vice like grip it had on it and fell to the floor.

"Why?" it was whispered by one of them.

"Because I don't want a truck. I want a car. I want a car just like this car." I said as I held up the picture of the car that could quite possibly become mine. And with that, I left the room.

Which... on second thought, I probably shouldn't have done. Because by leaving the room, it gave them time to discuss the situation, put a plan together and come at me with both barrels. Well, I guess all six barrels.

I was only gone for about ten minutes and when I came back into the kitchen, I wasn't prepared for what they were hitting me with. What they considered good reasons to buy a truck. I had no idea they were discussing in my absence a plan of attack to convince me to buy a truck rather than the cute little sporty thing I wanted.

"Mom. Think about it. We can load stuff like the quad in the back and take off and leave you at home and you can enjoy your quiet time."

"And Mom, it's a 4 x 4 which means highway travel would be better."

"Besides, you've always wanted to drive a van. Now's your chance. It's a brand new van."

Hold on here a minute. I needed to speak up and speak up soon or I wouldn't stand a chance of winning this one!

"Excuse me??? I never, ever! wanted to drive a van! And it's not brand new! It's already had an oil change which removes it from the "brand new" category. And what makes you think that I would let you load up the back of my truck with the quad and take off in it? And 4 x 4, in my opinion, is only used in off-roading and I won't be doing any off-roading. I'm getting the car."

"No, we really think you should get the truck. Just look at the picture. It's really nice. And it comes in red too."

"I'm not getting a truck."

"But mom, what about...."

"I'm not getting a truck." I interrupted.

"Jodie, just think about it. It would be much more practical for us to have a truck than the cute little sporty thing. We're a family. We have dogs. We'd get much more use out of a truck than a car."

"Yeah mom, what dad said."

"Who's "we"? This will be my car. Just like the Cav was my car. No one ever wanted to lay claim to the Cav as a the "family" car. We're not getting a truck."

As I walked out of the room it was apparent that I was not getting through to them. The discussion was continuing with what they thought were the endless possibilities that having a truck could bring. They were getting very excited as the three them stood, looking at the pretty picture of the truck.

"I'm not getting a truck!!!!" I yelled as I walked downstairs.

To be continued.

Merry Merry!!

Baby It's Cold Outside, Part Two

SG finally made it to save me from frostbite and what was sure to be the amputation of both of my feet!

Once me and my brain thawed out, I had to make some plans. What were we going to do? I need a car. We can’t drive together. Our hours are different and it would be a real inconvenience to car pool. Not to mention that I’m a much better driver than SG (he doesn’t think so, but he’s wrong) and well, I can’t smoke in the van. So car pooling is definitely out.

If it were spring, summer or fall, I would be willing to grab the commuter bus that travels daily from the local town right smack into the center of the big city where I could then grab a transit bus and make my way to work.

But not in the winter. No. Nope. Nada. That just isn’t going to happen.

A few phone calls and a couple of emails later, and, well I had the makings of a couple of plans! Our banker lady would be more than happy to dole out a bunch of cash for a car. Our nephew would be more than happy to give us another great deal on a new car.

What to do, what to do?

SG went and stopped by the dealership where nephew now works. He saw a really nice vehicle that he thought would be perfect. And a good deal! In the meantime, I get an email from nephew pointing out a super sweet deal on a vehicle.

Two great deals. One is what I wanted, a small car, and standard. The other one was what SG wanted, a truck, and 4x4.

Apparently, somewhere in the lines of communication, well, there was a mis-communication. Actually, I think we can call it "selective hearing" but nah, let's go with mis-communication. and this became very clear once we got home and the literature for the vehicles was placed on the table where the boys could get their hands on it….

To be continued…

Merry Merry!!

Baby, It's Cold Outside

They say that what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger

Wait... wait. It's Christmas, we're trying to do the 'ho 'ho 'ho here.

But I have to tell you about this. And I don't need you thinking "bah humbug!" I promise, it'll end up nice.

Eventually... maybe.

Sometime in 2009...

I'm sure you all remember the Cav thing I had going on. I wrote about it when I was driving the Volkswagon... and then I got to drive a Dodge Caliber for a couple of days... oh yes, never told you about the Caliber. Nothing memorable, didn't really like it, but hey, I did appreciate the loaner...

Anyway, after far longer than originally thought, I finally got the Cav back. And while my girl wasn't performing quite the same way she was before I had her fixed, I figured that she would be okay. She'd figure it out. She'd get her computer memory back up and running and soon enough she'd be purring along in the same fashion as she was before the "illness".

Which brings to mind a question. Why is it cars are always referred to in the female gender?

Just wondering....

Okay, back on track.

Driving into work today I had, well, some road troubles. Despite the issues my girl was still having, (which I quickly figured out how to handle), for some reason she decided that she just didn't want to work anymore. Well, she was working, she just didn't want to use the anti-freeze to keep the motor cool and the heater sending out heat.

The temperature light came on. The motor was hot, hot, HOT!!

I immediately pulled over, shut her down and called SG. I told him what happened and asked him to come and get me so firstly, I wouldn't freeze and secondly, I could get to work. The question came, "What are you going to do with the car?"

"Someone can steal it, set it on fire, pillage and destroy it, I don't care. Just come and get me."

So while I sat and waited, I tried to think good thoughts. Tried not to get down, depressed and cry. Think thoughts of positive stuff... you know... like how I woke up this morning (this is a good thing) and how I'm healthy and how I had a container of freshly made shortbread to eat while I waited so I wouldn't starve (funny how in times of stress cookies can save the day!), you know, good things.

"Oh look... sunrise over the city. It's been a while since you've seen this." And then I took out my camera.

You'll have to pardon the blurry shot. I had to find a spot on the window where I could get the best picture.

Because what I was actually looking through was this.

Yes, it was a tad frosty on the ring road around the city.

And while I should've been staying warm underneath my blanket and fleece outerwear, with the candle lit to help generate heat (seriously people, you need a road side emergency kit if you travel on the highways and biways), I rolled down the window and took this;

Not the same zoom, but it was so lovely, to see that big red ball of warmth and light shining out over there... it was pretty cool.

Then I rolled the window back up and tried not to get frostbite.

Now, it's decision time. Put more cash into the Cav? Or buy something new?

To be continued....

Oh yes, Merry Merry!

Seasonally spacially challenged???

Last year at this time, I went out and purchased additional house decorations. You know, candles, window decorations, extra tree stuff. It's not like I didn't have enough to lay about the house already. I had so much that I didn't have enough places to put them. But... my Mom and Dad were coming for the holidays. First time ever... well at least since they moved to Lotusland. I wanted to make the house look really nice.

It was in my pursuit to make it even more memorable that I stumbled across a great deal to be had at the local Wallyworld. Light up holiday figures that you could hang in your window. A small extension cord and voila! It would just add to the ambience of the season.

As I hung the window ornaments, I was very pleased. They looked good. All of them. I would show you photos of them all, however, this post is just about one. And one only.

In the kitchen window, I had this.

And we spent the entire Christmas season with it lit up. It was great!

The time came to put the season away and #2 pointed out to me that something didn't seem quite right about the wreath. To be quite honest, he said it looked a little "whacked". As he and I stood there and stared at to see if we could figure just what was wrong with it, he said "Mom! It's upside down!!" he stated as the holiday light fixture was taken down.

"No, I don't think so" I replied.

"Turn it over, you'll see."

#2 was right.

This year, I hung the wreath again, however this time, I took the time to have a good look at it and make sure I hung it as it should be hung.

After a couple of days of having #2 snicker everytime he came into the kitchen I finally asked what he was giggling at. It took some time to get it out of him. He really didn't want to tell me. He was enjoying whatever it was that was so funny immensly!

Finally he relented and 'fessed up. He nodded toward the the window and said, "Mom, you screwed it up again".

I shook my head and immediately rectified the situation.


At least this year it was fixed BEFORE Christmas.

And next year?

#2 is decorating the house for Christmas....

Merry Merry!!

More smells of the season!

Okay, so I showed you this picture the other day. Don't gripe... I've got a story here.

See that little orange bowl at the top?

Here, up close and personal.

Those there, my friends, are Sultana raisins, soaking in spiced rum. Oh yes... The Captain has come for Christmas!

After many hours sitting in the bowl and getting all plump and juicy and very very flavourful, they were placed into the bottom of the tart shells and then covered with probably the finest syrup that I have ever had. The Best Butter Tarts EVER!!!!


The only thing that could possibly make these more wonderful would be if the pastry was homemade. Uhmmm, yeah, about that...not so good at homemade pastry. And, as much as I say HANDS OFF!!! you can see they listen very well.

Merry Merry!

Sights of the season

I know I have my rule about not talking about the daytime thing I do five days a week, but I have to tell you this. I just have to. And then I'll resume being quiet about it.

Here's a first for you. This has never, ever, EVER!!! happened before. Are you ready for it? Please, make sure you're sitting down....

The office has a Christmas tree.... an actual visual indicator of what time of the year it is!

We also had our Christmas party last week. We've done that before, but this was different. In the past it was always at some dining establishment. It would appear, however, with new owner comes new ways of doing things. This year, we had it catered (well, not really.... we all chipped in and made the appies and the dinner and it was very good!) and we had it at the office. After the close of business. "Beverages" were brought in and the co-workers from the branch were flown in and we all ate, drank and made merry together. A very nice (and different) start to the holiday season.

A lot of stuff has happened at the full time gig since the 1st of the month. I knew things were going to change and that I would probably find myself, on more than a few occassions, standing there, shaking my head in wonderment. But I never, ever, ever! thought that I would find myself totally speechless and amazed as the company begins to turn itself into what many would consider "normal". It's a whole new attitude with a whole new approach.

And the change? Well, this change is good!!

Merry Merry!

Smells of the season

Got a little baking action going on over here.

And while your computer can't send out smells (which, you know, sometimes, this could be a good thing), I can let you imagine just what it smells like in my house right now.

Prepping the mini "pumpkin cheesecakes" A little bit of cinnamon, some nutmeg...

Mission accomplished!

Now, I must go and hide them in the trunk of my car.

Wait... I still don't have my car. That's a story for another day. Because we're being happy here!

Merry Merry!

'Tis the Season!

To be jolly....falalalala la la la la!!!

Okay, got that off my chest!

In order to celebrate the season properly here at My Pocket Lint, here's what I'm going to do. I have decided that I'm going to post something every day from now until the 25th, you know, sort of along the lines of the 12 Days of Christmas.

But not really.

Because I'm not sure if I count the 25th as the 12th Day, or if the 24th is the 12th day. The things I lose sleep over, I tell ya.

Anyway, whichever day is the 12th day, I think I've got it covered by starting today. I've mentioned it, which definately counts for something. And I give you this, which counts for even more!



Merry Merry!!

The Phone Rang

And it was my mother.

She called to talk about the blog.

I absolutely love this. Family and friends read the blog. They laugh. They shake their head. They have opinions.

And then, they phone me! To talk about the blog. And one of the reasons for the blog is so that they don't have to phone me. I mean, it's not like I don't enjoy talking to them, I do. But the blog is for me to keep those I care about in the loop of my life and to get stuff off my mind and entertain. My take on my life and what it is. Maybe toss in a few key words that will get me a few more hits and allow me to continue with the hope that "Yes Jodie, There Is A Cheque From Google Waiting For You!

Well, no, not really. Well, maybe.

It's an outlet to vent and gripe and tell stories, and well, according to my mother.... whine.

Here's the conversation:

Me: Hi

MM (My Mom): You have to quit whining.

Me: What are you talking about?

MM: I'm reading your blog and I had to stop to phone to tell you to quit whining.

Me: Whining? About what?

MM: The boys. You're really whining about the boys.

Me: No, I'm not "whining" about the boys. I'm "bitching" about the boys.

MM: Well, you have to stop. It sounds like you're whining.

Me: I am not whining. I'm simply bitching. And I don't do it too often, only when it gets to the point where I think I might want to do permanent damage to their bodies and then I vent about it using the blog. It's my blog. I can write what I want. At least I'm not going into things that you really don't want to read about, like for example my sex life. Or my adventures with menopause. Or the 47 shots of liquid nitrogen I've just had to my body. By the way, weren't you the one who phoned after the hunting blog and raved about how hilarious it was and how well it was written and compared me to frickin' Erma Bombeck??? Hey, wasn't that you?????

MM: Well... okay..... Just quit whining about the boys.

And this is why I must point out, as much as I love talking to those of you that have my phone number (and no, I'm not giving it out here so you too can call and complain) there is also other ways for you to gripe about what I'm writing. You can also forward compliments if you like!

Right down there, below, is the "COMMENT" option. Go ahead. Click it. You don't have to tell me who you are, or you can if you want to. It's up to you. And then there's the email option. pocketoflint@gmail.com That will send it directly to the inbox and you can say what you want, except only I will know who you are and what you've said. Unless of course you've taken the time and energy to set up a fake email account, in which case, you should've probably just used the "comment" option where less energy would've been expended.

So go ahead, utilize the options.

Their noses are soooo brown!

You'll have to pardon me if the words run together. My space bar appears to be messed up and my thumb has to absolutely pound on the frickin' thing in order for it to work properly. Missing words in this evening's post? Well, I'll just have to blame that on the grape. Ventured into the world of the Bordeaux tonight. Somewhat lacking in substance and body, at least this bottle is, but still, it gets the job done! Thinking I'll stick with the Malbec however...

Okay, so on to a slightly tipsy blog! Or vent maybe.... yeah, venting... I'll go with that.

After spending the day asking and begging and then, resorting to yelling, at the boys to get the few things that needed to be done, done, I was ticked off. Really ticked off.

Pissed right the hell off in case I was being too subtle.

I cannot, for the life of me, understand why it almost takes me getting down on my hands and knees to beg them to help out around the shack. To chip in and do what needs to be done. I'm not sure where they think they're at in the food chain of life, but I get the impression they seem think that it's right up there at the top!

Keep climbing there boys!

I've tried reasoning with them, explaining to them that, yes indeed, they do need to know how to keep their room tidy. And that they really should have an appreciation of all that a dresser can hold (such as their clothes!!... not just booze!) And just once, experience what it is like to walk into their bedroom and see the bed made, ready and waiting for them to turn down the sheets and climb on in. And most importantly!!! know that they they did it!! That it isn't just a "Mom thing"!!

They need to know that doing dishes is a good thing! Even better? Putting them back into the same spot they originally came from! They need to know how to clean the bathroom. How to put toilet paper on the holder. And we won't even go into putting the seat down!!! How to hang up their coat so the puppy isn't given an opportunity to think that something in the pocket smells really really!! good and proceed to chew up the left side to get in there and find it. And that when the garbage is full and overflowing, they should take the bag out and put a new one in that can take the stuff they want to put into it without dumping it over the side.

They just don't seem to get that I am teaching them things that they will need later in life, in order to survive. To live. Well, maybe I'm over exaggerating a tad, but still. To hopefully, one day, maybe (God willing!) find someone that will put up with them the way I have had to, all the while attempting to hand over, to whomever that may be, a better person than what I've had to deal with... is it possible? Really now, tell me the truth...

Have I mentioned I don't like puberty?

After the day from hell whereby the boys did not like their Mom at all!!! it was pointed out to me that I best be putting channel 213 on. "Mom!!! Put it on!! It will put you in your happy place!" #2 yelled from the basement. Surfing the tube downstairs, (banished from the upstairs - attitude, that'll do it every time!) he found my boy John on the TV. I turned it on, cranked it and totally zoned out, watched, and listened. Didn't matter that I already have it on DVD... I really needed to do this. Go to the "happy place" that this guy can take me to every time I see him play.

Along comes commercial break and I head back to reality. What do I see? The both of them, sitting upstairs, watching, right along side me. I look at them at say "Uhhhh, hello? Why are sitting here watching this?"

"Well Mom, he's not so bad" offers up #1.

"Yeah, he's pretty good actually. He's managed to stop making those ugly faces when he plays" states #2.

I looked at them both, shook my head and thought, "Okay. Maybe there is a chance that I'm getting through to them. If not life wise, at least in something!

Brown noser's!

I have to wonder what they'll want from me tomorrow?

Ciao!!

You can call me Danica

The Cav is sick. Very sick. Which translates to "expensive".

The head gasket needs to be replaced/repaired... I don't know. A big job apparently. Mechanics allow 9.5 hours to do this job. And shop rate is high. Very high.

Lucky for me, there's a couple of people I know who have decided that it is their sole purpose to make my life easier.

I like this. I like this a lot!!

First one being "DC". A former mechanic, he's got connections. Lots and lots of connections. So many connections that he was able to get the parts for free (which, by the way, was the least of my worries cost wise I'm told). And, not only that, a place, and a guy, to do the work. This will come in well under the $1,500 this job could've cost me. I like DC. He's looking out for me.

And the other person is my new boss. When he found out that The Cav was getting work done, he yelled from his office, "Can you drive a stick?"

"Of course I can drive a stick!" I hollered back.

"Good!! You can use my car while I'm out of town."

"Really?? Are you serious? You're going to let me use your car? You hardly even know me."

"Oh, I know you. And I like you. You can use my car."

I like my new boss! And not because he's letting me use his car. There is a whole bucket of reasons why I like my new boss. Maybe more on that later....

So, this week I was given the opportunity to drive a Volkswagon Jetta TDI. And, just before I got into it to drive it out of the warehouse, where it was parked, freshly washed and with a full tank of gas, ("Your chariot awaits you" I was informed!) the guys in the office were placing bets on whether I would pop the clutch and stall it.

Yeah... too bad, so sad for them.... I made $20 bucks!

I like wheeling my way around the city in this car with "a stick". I can see myself getting a speeding ticket if given the pleasure of driving this car too much longer.

But not to worry. The Cav should be all better by Monday. Complete with properly working headlights I might add! THAT repair is getting tossed in for free.

And then, with headlights that finally work properly, I'll still stand the chance of getting a speeding ticket!

I think I'm going to look into getting some sponsors.

Just in case I want to be an Indy driver.

December 1, 2008

Guess what people?

Yes, I'm still gainfully employed. Go Me!!

As I said before, I wasn't too concerned, but you just never know in this day and age now do you?

I will say, however, that I think I am in for some serious culture shock.

And I mean that in the best way possible.

Everything you say can and will be held against you...

Apparently some people think it's okay to tell me what to write about in my blog.

We had a couple of things go on over here in the past couple of weeks that would have made awesome blog material. Really, they would have.

And it was during the first incident that I realized I couldn't write about it. Could not force myself to sit down and tell the story to you loyal blog readers.

Well, actually, I could write it. I could tell it. And it would be good. Very good!!!

It was just that "one of the other people in this house" managed to find the strength to yell, in a deep, deep, very loud and authoritative voice that I've never heard come out this person before ever... "MOOOOOOOOOOMMM... DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT BLOGGING ABOUT THIS!!!!" as I headed downstairs to, well, blog about it.

I was slightly taken aback I will admit. Such strength coming from the little bugger. And so sure with what he was yelling at me.

So, I turned around and headed back upstairs. To keep this between him and I.

But, then there's the other story I would love to write about. But won't. Or can't I guess.

Because once again I was stopped, like I had walked into a wall. This time it was with "Mom... SO HELP ME!!!, you tell the blog world about this and I will never, ever, forgive you."

What else can I say? I have to honour the wishes of those closest to me. I have to listen to them when they have such strong opinions of what they feel I should I put out here.

I've been muzzled.

And with the muzzle come this: they best be doing absolutely every single stinkin' thing that I ask of them from here on in if they expect me to keep the muzzle on!

If not, it is soooo coming off!!

Miniota 2008

Or...#2's first big hunting trip...

Okay, I’m supposed to be at the mall right now, getting the Christmas shopping done. Actually, it was my intention to go last night, but after yesterday, well, no, that didn’t happen. I just came home and continued to feel sorry for myself in all my sadness.

Anyway…

As I previously alluded to, the boys have gone hunting. It’s the big 3 day trip out west whereby they say “we gonna go and shoot us some deer!!” It happens every year at this time. It definitely happens if they’ve been skunked right here in our own backyard!

The preparation for this trip is quite large. There are lists. Lots and lots of lists! So many lists that it boggles the mind. Why one can’t have just one list is beyond me. I’m guessing it’s because as things pop into their heads, they write them down. On many, many pieces of paper. That are scattered ALL OVER THE HOUSE!!! In the kitchen. Beside the bed. In the bathroom.

So, on Thursday, while waiting for the supper dishes to be done so I could prep the food that would be my contribution to a successful hunting trip, I sat and read. I was not going into the kitchen until it was tidied and cleaned up. Bad enough I had to deal with the kitchen table and counter being loaded with various deer calls and antlers and scent covering vials of awful smelling stuff, I was not dealing with the cluttered corner where I stand to prep food! Tossing out things like “I can’t slice the cheese if the kitchen isn’t clean” or “How am I suppose to get the food ready if you don’t do the dishes” and “You want muffins for this trip? Someone better get the dishes done”, it was quickly approaching the time where I start to think about heading to bed.

Finally, #2 steps up and does the dishes. “There! Now would you please just make us some muffins!” he asks. “Well, I’m tired. I have a big day tomorrow so I’m heading to bed. Give me a kiss…” I say.

I know, I know… how nasty of me!

The plan was to leave at about three in the morning. Great. Like I need to be woken at THREE AM!! But when I woke, as usual, before the alarm went off, everyone was still sleeping. “Geez, this is really going according to plan now isn’t it?” I thought to myself, and laughed. After waking SG to tell him they missed their departure time and being informed that the departure time had changed after I had gone to bed, I got up and made muffins and cut cheese and sliced pickles and made sandwiches. You didn’t really think I would send them out into the wilds without this stuff did you? It was okay. I didn’t mind. It was a good distraction from the day that I had to face. The kitchen and living room were a complete and total disaster. Stuff everywhere. Backpacks and bags loaded with clothes. Wool socks and mittens and hats all over the place. The cooler and various cooler bags …. Well, it was a mess.

By the time they finally left, I was at work and had been for 3 ½ hours! Noon-ish I think it was that I received the call “We’re on our way”. That’s like 9 hours behind the originally scheduled departure time…

And, as I discovered this morning, all the lists in the world won’t help you if you don’t stroke things off as you go. I mean, if you need to depend on a list, (or LISTS!! in this case) you better be following them. If you don’t, you’re bound to forget something

Like, oh… let’s just say, warm clothes and clean socks and underwear!

Whilst putting freshly washed, dried and folded laundry in #2’s room this morning, there it was.

His bag. Packed and ready to go hunting. On his bed.

I did what any mother would do. Just shook my head and laughed.

And thought “Great!!! less laundry to do when they get back.”

Then, finding the more nurturing side of myself, thought that, for next year, I’ll hand out pre-formatted lists. You know, stating the basics and the obvious. Such as, in big, bold letters, right there at the bottom:

BRING CLOTHES!!!!

Crazy glue maybe...

What a couple of weeks…. I will say, I don’t think that I would ever want to do this time of my life over again.

Ever.

I said goodbye to my boss today.

He was one of the most important and influential people that I could have ever hoped and dreamed of having in my life. He was absolutely awesome! A bit of an ass at times, (aren't we all though?) but still, he was incredible. He mentored me in the ways of business. He mentored me in the ways of life. He had a huge impact on me in just about everything that I had, and have, going on. And while I sometimes didn’t agree with his take on things, I took what he was saying and used it in my own way.

I couldn’t look at him today. I could barely even speak to him. (Okay, I’m a girl and girls can be somewhat emotional… never mind!) It was hard.

It was the end.

And when I walked into his office, well past the close of business, and said “So…this is it I guess.” he just looked at me and said “Thank You. You’ve been the glue that’s held this place together. Stay strong. Continue to be who you are. I will miss you”.

Then I left.

And proceeded to cry my face off in my car.

Things I need to tell you about...

Overheating... complete with roadside assistance

Fever induced hallucinogenic dreams that would absolutely blow your mind!

Puppy love for slippers (but only new ones)

The 3 day hunting trip prep currently being done by the boys... this is hilarious


But... only after I lose the awful feeling of sandpaper in my throat, the aching in my bones and the heavy "load" in my chest... I know, I know, I really should give up the smokes....if it's any consolation, I've cut back???

The battle was lost

Remember when I was bragging about being in a tie with the cold/flu which was a good thing because I couldn't afford to be sick right now? And that I thought I was winning? Wait, maybe I didn't tell you about the winning part.

I did, I thought I was winning.

I'm here to tell you, right now, that I was wrong.

I lost.

It won big time Saturday night and is proceeding to Kick. My. Ass.

I feel so absolutely lousy and crappy that I'm actually at home. Can you believe that!! I never stay home when I'm sick. The reason for that is part that I always feel compelled to do other stuff rather than rest (like, oh let's say, posting a blog that has been proofread over and over, at least 17 times!! to make sure all the words are there) and the other part is I feel so incredibly guilty about not being at work. Yeah... that last part... some people tell me is a sickness in itself.

Actually, if the truth be told, I prefer to be out there, spreading the very same horrible germs that got me, around to the rest of the world. I know, I'm nice like that.

No idea how long it's gonna last, just thought I'd let you know.

Besides, I'm looking for Sympathy (sniffle sneeze sniffle cough sniffle).

And don't be telling me I can find it in the dictionary between sh....

So, yeah, another post

I'm sorry.

I know I've been remiss in posting but hey, I got stuff going on man!!

Like battling a cold. And seriously battling a cold. We are talking intense ingestion of vitamin C, and garlic. Not together, that would be disgusting, but ingesting none the less.

Both the boys have had it and I'm trying my hardest not to get it. Yesterday I thought it would over take me and win, but today, well, maybe I'm tied. I don't know. SG asked how come I was getting a cold and the only answer I could provide was that, despite my intense "impatience" with the little brats I call my children right now, I still like to kiss them good night.

So that's where I got it from. Them. Just another "thanks mom, here you go"....sheesh

And I can't afford to be sick right now. Two weeks until the new owner takes over and I have to bring my "A" game, complete with all my brains and all my knowledge to the table right now. Really. Well, not really, but you know.... The new dude would be lost without me and while I know no one is irreplaceable, right now, and for the next 2 -3 months, I'm fairly confident that I am. That being said, did you know with the change of ownership I am officially unemployed as of 11/30/08? Yes, yes I am. And that on 12/01/08 I need to see about being re-employed? Yes, yes I do.

Oh, and the dog is pregnant. Yeah, I know. I already talked about this one, but one little mis-step, like leaving the two of them in a room together, alone, despite the fact that there was no evidence WHAT SO EVER!!! that she would even entertain the thought of letting him near her, I left the room. And there they were, upon my return, locked, in the middle of my kitchen. Great, just great....

And a not so stellar report card from #1... four subjects, two of them failing... but he assures me he's got it covered. All credits will be attained come January.... Cripes! That had better be the case I told him, or life as he's currently knows it will be over.

Finally, to make matters even worse (like that's even possible!!!) my Christmas lights aren't up yet. The outside ones. And I'm not a happy camper let me tell you that!!! Not that they are turned on when they're up this early, well, okay, they are, November 12th is the day that it's okay to do such things, but the frickin' things aren't even on the house!!!

I can see it now....people will think we're Jewish and we don't celebrate the season....

Well, I gotta go. I'll be back later...

I don't know, it takes Domo gas

I had the pleasure of attending our local automotive store the other day with #1 son. He needed to get some spray paint for the sled and asked if I would take him. I was going to town anyway and thought "why not".

While driving there, I once again used this time to talk to him about stuff he needs to know in order to progress further in this thing called life. Well, actually, I was harping on him that he needed to get his resume written so I could type it up and he could start handing it out. Yes, he no longer has a job. Decided to quit without having something else to go to. Please tell me, who in their right mind does that, particularly when one is so fond of having a regular paycheque? I was not happy about this decision he made, but he was.... Don't worry, he's already had THAT lecture! And, according to him, he's been out asking for applications and all these places only take resumes. So write the damn thing up so I can type for you!!!

On the drive, in order to shut me up, he said that he's was going to get the Cav ready for winter and do this and do that and do the other thing. Okay, that's nice. Thank you for thinking of me and my winter road chariot I said.

We were in the store and he was wandering and meandering all around, picking up this and picking up that. I was getting frustrated because all I really wanted to do was go to town, pick up the groceries, a bottle of grape and get my ass back home. I had things that needed to be done and was getting rather impatient with him.

But nooo, he needed to see about "some stuff". Check this out, see about that. Finally (thank you powers that be!!), after following him around the store for about 45 minutes he indicated that he was ready to go and get the stuff that was needed for the "winterization" of my car.

First up was new wiper blades. "You won't believe the difference Mom, it'll be great."

Alrighty then, new wiper blades it was.

Then there was the oil for the oil change he was going to do. It was on sale, "niiice" said the boy.

"How's your power steering fluid?"

Taken by surprise, I reply "Huh?"

"Your power steering fluid? Does it need topping up?"

Okay, so here we go. I can see some serious "mess with my kid" time coming up, so I take it up a notch.

"Well, the steering wheel still turns, I guess it's okay."

"Brake fluid?"

"Huh?"

"How's your brake fluid?"

"The brakes still work, so I think I'm good."

"Antifreeze?"

"I don't know...it's not overheating, it's blowing warm air, I'm guessing it's good."

"Transmission fluid?"

"Uhmmmm, how do I know if that's low?"

"Mom, as a responsible driver it's up to you to make sure the car is road worthy and that the fluids are topped up so the car will run as efficiently as possible."

"Well, if you want to top up a fluid, I'm almost on empty.... want to put some gas in it for me?"

I think, that he thinks, he's getting my car! This sudden interest in my well being while being behind the wheel of what could quite possibly, one day, maybe, become his car is disguised as concern for me.

And the little bugger didn't even top up the most important fluid, the gas tank!

Wrong kind of Ferris Bueller!!

I had today off. Used some overtime and thought I would book myself a four day weekend. The boys had school. SG, however, did not have the same forethought as I and therefore, well, he had to go to work….tee hee hee.

After making the boys a nice hot breakfast, being informed that I was causing a disruption in their usual morning routine and would I please just try to stay out of their way, (nice, I know, don’t know where they get that from!) and waiting for all the males to just leave the house ALREADY!!!, I found myself alone.

Alone, with no plans for much of anything. Nothing at all if you want the truth.

Absolutely nothing.

Just play it by ear and see what happens was my attitude.

That lasted all of about 10 minutes and then it started…

Seeing as the bathroom didn’t get done yesterday (boys were busy bruising each, err, uhm, “bonding” yesterday) I may as well do it. And while I was doing that I was also cleaning the oven. Huge pumpkin mess in there that needed tending to. And, the oven was actually cleaning itself; all I really need to do is try not to burn my self by cleaning up the ashes too soon. Then there were four more loads of laundry, which I really don’t understand because over the weekend I had already done seven … And seeing as the oven was cleaning itself, I thought that I’d wash the kitchen floor. While washing the kitchen floor, I got the brilliant idea to reformat one of the computers. The both need it, may as well get one started. Cleaned up the DVD’s and CD’s. You know, put them back in their cases, filed them into alphabetical order – no, I’m kidding – I just stuffed them back on to the shelf and made sure all the fronts lined up. Found a couple of old mixed CD’s that I made a while back. Nothing like the rush of stumbling across CD’s that have only “MIX CD” written on them! I was very excited. Popped them in and listened to some Streetheart, QCK, April Wine, and one of my very faves, Nick Gilder, while cleaning the back landing area and swapping out coats and jackets, gathering hats and mitts to put through yet another load of wash. Then I pureed the pumpkin meat, bagged and froze the majority of it. The rest got made into muffins and bread and soup. Decided to wipe down all the windows from the inside one last time before it gets too cold and after that, washed the living room floor. I could go on, but I’m not going to.

And I’m not bragging. Really, I’m not. Well, maybe I am just a little snicker snicker … More importantly however, is that I’m trying to tell that if you should ever decide to take a day off, and you'll have no one around, and decide to start it off with absolutely nothing planned … DON’T!!!

You need a plan!! Seriously… Even if it’s just a plan to make sure you have a bite eat… or go the washroom occasionally… or a plan to make a plan!!!

YOU NEED A PLAN!!

Now, I’m going to watch Ferris and get motivated to do it right and attempt to switch tomorrow for today! Or today for tomorrow…however you say it.

The point is, I’ve got a PLAN for tomorrow!!

Lest We Forget

Someone please tell me what is going on????

Nothing like spending the day with the kids to fuel me some fire for a blog!!

Man oh man OH MAN!!!

How is it possible that laughs, giggles, camaraderie, teamwork and brotherly enjoyment can turn into death threats, bruises and bad words??

The day started off nice enough.

I'm up before the sun (SG leaves the bed at some ungodly early hour to go to the bush....uhmm, helloooo? there's something wrong with this), then the boys get up early and decide they're going to work on the snowmobile together.

Say WHAT????

Yes I'm told. #2 needs to learn and #1 will teach. And, as I stand there, my jaw hitting the floor and my eyes about to fall out of my head, it dawns on me that maybe we've turned the corner. Maybe, just maybe, they're at the point in life where they've decided to be friends rather than have zero tolerance for each other.

It was great. In and out they came and went, getting this and getting that, working as a team. Well, actually, in my logical world I know that, #2 was the fetch boy to whatever #1 wanted. In my fantasy world however ...#2 is so tuned in to #1 and learning and watching and anticipating and they're being brothers and talking and being together and almost even maybe kinda sorta liking each other. Sometimes they even came in together to give me a status update. Like I know anything about carbs and rails and tracks....but I feigned interest anyway...

Holy Crap!!!!

MY BOYS ARE GETTING ALONG!!!!

And... it wasn't long after that, that the bottom fell out.

After being brutally yanked out of the lovely little fantasy land I was in, I had no choice but to return to reality. Screaming, yelling and loud thunks will do that to a person.

Now, while both of them are taller than me, one of them stronger than me and one of them faster than me, I can still make them stand still with just a look. I'm not sure if it's the fire coming from my eyes or the whisper like screaming I'm doing through clenched teeth all the while flexing a fist, but they stand still. God forbid I take a step forward whilst acting this way, they'd run like little school girls!

They were both sent to separate rooms for some chill down time. I've checked them over and nothing is broken. I've given them both ice packs and have warned that if I ever, EVER!!! hear that kind of language again they'll be dealing with the flossing of a bar of soap out of their teeth while standing because their butts will be so sore from the whipping I'd given them. Oh yeah, and the fighting too...jeez.

Not that I would ever whip my children, but they don't know that....and, hey, the empty threat continues to work! Play your cards when you have 'em.

And that's why I'm in my little piece of heaven, down in the basement, in my office that has a door, that locks, and a fridge that contains grape and candles and ..... well .... you know, on the internet, writing a blog.

Oh yeah, I'm also looking for answers. Because I just don't get it.

Running on Empty

And I feel bad about it.

Well, not that bad.

I've never really relied on outside stuff to keep you loyal blog readers coming back. It's just that the creative juices have had to be switched over and are needed to help the analytical juices get going. And I hate that. I'd much rather be thinking about drivel to put out here and keep you entertained. But, I also would like to continue to get a paycheque!

So here.... I give you this. On October 10, the subject line changes...watch for it.

Go ahead, click it. It's really, really funny. It's also safe for work (not that any of you read the blog during working hours tee hee hee).

Make sure to read the whole thing.

And make sure to laugh out loud.

A Conversation

#1: When we go shopping, can I drive?

Me (looking out at the car, covered in freezing rain and the ground covered in snow: No

#1: Why not?

Me: You can drive for the first few times in this stuff with your dad

#1: I did already. Yesterday. He let me drive. I'm good at it

Me: No

#1: But Mom, I was born to drive in this stuff

Me: No

#1: But Mom, I'm good with it. Really, I am. I've got lots of experience driving on ice and snow

Me: Huh?

#1: You know, snowmobiling

Me: No

#1: PLEASSSSE MOM!!!!

Me: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

#1: Mom, I'm begging here. You have to let me drive

Me: You really like hearing the word NO, don't you?


It's not that he won't be able to drive my car in the snow and ice. It's just that he's not going to drive my car in the snow and ice with me in it.

Home, Jeeves

Earlier this week I had the pleasure of playing the role of chauffeur. Well, actually, I play this role all the time, but this time it was different.

Normally, I shuffle one kid at a time around, it's just me and him, in the car, going somewhere. And usually these transportation adventures involve lectures and talking to's and serious amounts of advice being dispensed that isn't really wanted. Lots of fun for them, NOT!! Incredibly satisfying for me. I feel very strongly that it's these car rides that are forming my children into the adults that, God willing, they will turn into. Yeah, okay, whatever....

But the other night I drove #1 and one of his friends to the city so they could go to a comedy show that #1 had won a couple of tickets for. He won them on the radio, one of those contests where you had to call in and identify who the celebrity was that was laughing. I gave him the answer. He called in. He won the tickets.

I thought he would take me. I mean, after all, I did give him the right answer.

But...no, he took a buddy. Which was okay. Well, not really, but I'm dealing with it. I'll be okay, really, I will...

Anyway, I had the pleasure of listening to these two sixteen year olds carry on and have a conversation. And I have to tell you blog readers, I'm concerned.

I'm not exactly sure what they were talking about because the words they were using, or perhaps it was the lack of!! and my interpretation of them, well, it just wasn't all coming together for me. As a matter of fact, I didn't have a freakin' clue.

"Dude...check it"

"Whoa, sick"

"Yeah dude ... sick"

"Dude! Check it.."

"Sick!!"

"Yeah Dude!!!"

Is it just me or has the art of communication with the youth of today been reduced to two or three words? It would appear, that in this day and age where they're using phones to text each other and wouldn't even consider talking on the damn thing, that they don't know how to talk to each other anymore. I mean, the above was the actual conversation, repeated over and over, during the 37 minute drive in to the venue. Sure they tossed some other stuff in there, but the majority of the convesations didn't have any more substance that what you read above.

Which got me to thinking. Maybe, on one of the many one on one drives that I do with my kids, I should just shut up and let them talk for a bit. I'm fairly certain that my silence would nearly kill them. And they would feel uncomfortable. And then they'd feel obligated to talk. And then, they'd learn how to communicate. How to speak. And have an actual conversation. With real words. Maybe not on the first ride, but surely to God by the 4th or 5th!

And I can answer with "yeah dude" "check it" "sick".

And I have absolutely no doubt that I would blow their minds!

Yeah Dude....

I can't believe it!!

When we bought my car, I was very thrilled. Not only would it be really good on gas, it was small, four door (all of which worked by the way!) I wasn't too keen that it wasn't a standard, but I could live with that. The colour, while boring, manages to hide the dirt. But only to a point. Eventually one must take it to the car wash to clean it up.

But the best part about my car was the CD player. I'd never had one before. I was veeerry excited.

I headed out and bought a spool of blank CD's so that I could burn almost everything I had purchased and downloaded just so I could have them in my car. Didn't neccesarily mean I was going to play them all. But I could if I wanted to. Music is the gateway to the soul. Well, my soul anyway. They kept spilling out of the glove box everytime I opened it and the ones that were always at hand kept falling to the floor everytime I took a corner too quickly. Time to downsize and clean up ... yes, most of the CD's are now safely stored inside the house. With the exception of but a few. You know, the ones that you can listen to time and time again and over and over and never, ever, ever get sick of. Yeah, you know... I don't have to tell you. Hee hee...that's funny.

Anyway, a couple weeks ago I was forced to take a good long look at my CD player. It wasn't working all that well. And yes, I was getting depressed. What in the would I do without my CD player? I don't particularly care for the radio right now. Well, that's not true. I listen to my friend on the drive home, but really, if there's too much ABBA or Lionel Ritchie, or hell, even Elton or Billy Joel going on, I switch to the CD player. But the CD player wasn't working all that well. It wasn't playing some of the tracks and it was skipping it's way through others. I figured it was shot.

And I was bummed. Very bummed.

And then came the weekend and I get to drive the van around to do my all stuff and come Monday morning, I had completely forgotten about my CD player not working properly. And feeling like listening to a little something different, I put in a different CD.

And well I'll be damned, the thing worked! It played the whole M5 CD, all the way through, without skipping one time. Without crapping out on me.

The thought passed my mind that maybe, just maybe, I had worn out a CD. I've heard that it happens, to other people. "Played the stupid thing so much I wore it out". But I didn't think that it could possibly be true. I mean really, how do you wear out a CD?

On the drive home, I put the CD that kept skipping and missing into the player.

And guess what? It still skipped and crapped out on me.

I wore out a CD!!!

EDIT: Because my little brother is looking out for his big sister (yeah, and being a bit of a party pooper at the same time), apparently my offer was breaking the law...which I knew, but hey, live on the edge...

I can't believe it...but for now, I must go burn another copy. For my own use!!

It really is that good....

Sshhhhh...I'm hiding

I'm down in the basement.

The dogs are with me.

The house is dark.

I'm busy being a "rotten Halloween Apple".

Now don't go thinking that I'm a big time jack 'o lantern cheap ass. I'm not. I love Halloween. I'm the kind of person that puts the display in the yard, the Halloween lights go up, the move-able pumpkins and witches, all the window coverings. I buy a ton of candy to hand out to the 8 or so kids that will stop by and scream "Trick Or Treat" at my door. Sometimes I don't even let them get the begging call out as I'm so excited to see the little ones all costumed up in their princess or dracula outfits.

Back when #1 and #2 were younger, I would make their costumes. A pumpkin, clown, puppy dog...Poor #2, he always got the hand me downs as #1 was always privy to the newest creation. Then came the trips to VV Boutique to gather more complex items that were required as they got older. Try and find a size 12 pair of stillettos because #1 absolutely has to go out dressed like a "hot chick". He was pretty cute. But hot? Not so much.

But my most favourite costume by far was the Skunk costume. It was great. Made out of that long hair stuff that some people use for an area rug carpet thingy, you know, what's it called? Anyway, that stuff is a tough thing to sew, particularly with a sewing machine that was handed down to me, I swear, from one of my great grandmother's. But sew it I did.

The real kicker to the costume, and the thing that both the boys giggled hysterically about, was that SG would take a piece of cloth and soak it in this skunk smelling stuff that he uses to cover his tracks when he's out in the bush, doing his best to not be choosy and "wait for the big one", and get us some venison. We would then tie this cloth to the underside of the skunk tail and off they would go, begging for candy and stinking to high heaven.

It was great. People would comment on how the cute little skunk smelled like a big ugly skunk ... and the boys would laugh and turn around and lift the tail as they scooted away.

But now, here's the thing. #1 has a job and is working tonight. I asked him the other day if they were dressing up at work and he said no. Good, one less thing for me to do. Turns out that yes, indeed, costumes were mandatory. Desperate phone call to the cell on the way home requesting that I please please PULEEAAASE bring him his tank top and shorts, they needed to be in costume tonight. "Uhhmmm, okay, what are you dressing up as" I asked and was told that he and his "roman candle fireball really mom it landed in my shoe" buddy were going as beach volleyball players.

Yeah. Okay. That's really dressing up now isn't it? But I relaxed and said to myself that #2 still had a couple years in him, it'll be okay. It can still be fun, despite the fact that #2 had me running all over town trying to find a pair of those boots that guys used to wear that had the 4" solid block platform and 5" solid block heel and some bell bottoms and oh, don't forget, the afro wig. "And what, pre tell are you dressing up as" I asked. A hippie was the reply. Which was good. I liked that. It was fun scouring all the used clothing stores to find really cool stuff that was "hippie". I didn't find the afro wig, so he ended up with dreadlocks instead. A Rastafarian hippie. I liked it. So did he.

What I didn't like was when I was driving him to the school dance last night how it was suggested that the only thing missing from his "really cool" costume was the fact that he didn't have a big "doobie" in his hand.

THAT'S!!! when it stopped being fun!!!

And that's why I'm in the basement, with the dogs, hiding, in the dark with only the glow of the monitor to guide me. Oh, that and the light in the bar fridge! The image of all those cute little ones, almost whispering their "Trick or Treat" and they're then yelled out "THANK YOU!!!!" as they leave my front door, well, it's just too much to bear. I can see the future for those little ones....

He said he needed a "doobie"....

Please stayed tuned

I'm currently on a bit of "hiatus" if you will....

Yes, I'm yet again in what can be called the "swamp" of life and have my creative mind elsewhere. Two teenage boys and a rather delinquent life partner can do that to a person!!

But don't for one single minute think that I won't be back with something stellar!

I will be.

I'm just trying to figure out how to tell it all without incriminating those that think they are innocent!

See you soon....

It's that time again

I knew that when I decided to breed dogs that the female comes into heat about twice a year. And I knew that when you let a male dog near a female dog when she is in heat, it can get a little rowdy. And loud. And rambuctious. And messy. And did I mention rowdy?

And, while I knew back then, that if you don't want to let your male and female dog join together to bring a litter of puppies into this world, you have to keep them apart. And what I've learned is that this is not an easy thing.

In fact, it's downright torturous. It takes incredible creativity and ingenuity and diligence. Seriously, it does!

And now...well, that time is upon us once again.

And because it is really important to let the female "rest" between litters in order for her to bring forth into this world a good, strong, healthy litter, (in my opinion anyway, others will disagree) I have decided to rest the girl dog. Much to her chagrin. And mine. Oh, and boy dog too. He's ready, willing and able. And about to be incredibly pissed off and frustrated!

As will she.

I won't deny that I gave some serious consideration to letting her mate back to back.

I did.

But the thought of having a back to back breeding and what it would do to her was giving me a fair bit of grief. Oh, and not to mention the fact that having anywhere from 4 - 9 puppies living in my house for the two coldest months of the year and not being able to let them outside so they could learn and explore and crap and pee out there, rather than inside my house, well, I'm just not up to that! But then I thought about the possibilty of a a winter vacation if I did let her have another litter, you know, a nice escape to warmer climates, maybe around my birthday.

Then, I thought about the crap and pee inside my house.

Sorry, a winter reprieve in Cuba or Mexico just ain't worth all that crap (pardon the pun)!

So, the dance begins once again.

As for the little girl Nikki? she'll probably just cock her head to one side and think "WTF????" And then, she'll be ready. You know, for the mating thing. It'll probably be three to four months of complete and total hell..

I think I might want to be moving out.

Hello? High Speed Internet Provider?

As a lot of you faithful readers know, I'm on dial up out here in the country. Some of you know this more than others, having been on the receiving end of an email requesting that you please don't send 3.6 mb video clips of a dog sleeping next to a cat or of cake baking in the oven only to fall when the door gets slammed. And many of you have received the email asking you to please, please, PLEASE!!! compress your pictures from 1.6 mb to oh, let's say 53 kb. Particularly if your sending me 15 of them!

The other day, I was heading into our local town to do something, shopping for food I think, and as I headed toward the far end of my road I noticed that there were all these little pink flags stuck on sticks and the sticks were pounded into the ground. And on the little pink flags was the logo of our local telephone company. And then, right at the end of our road, there were 3 big coils of some kind of tubing.

So...my imagination being what it is, I began to conjur up dreams of maybe, just maybe, we were finally going to get into the 2000's and have us some high speed internet! And then it progressed to thinking about a bigger and better computer (and getting the lead out where it comes to building the custom designed thing!) and then the most incredible visions of watching every You Tube video that I've heard about, but not had the pleasure of seeing, began to dance in my head.

It was kind of pathetic actually. The thought of high speed internet and how excited I was about the possibilty of such luxury.

To add fuel to the fire, later that day my good friend down the road calls and said she saw the same thing and had the same sort of visions. Hers were a little bit different than mine, but I'm not getting what she was excited about! So I told her that I would make the call and see what I could find out.

I knew the minute I heard the voice on the other end answer that this had the potential to be a fairly fun conversation. (The phone person "Phone Dude" has been shortened to PD).

Me: Yes, could you please tell me if there is high speed internet being installed on "name of my road"?

PD: Where's that?

Me: It's near "name of small town", right by Highways "this one" and "that one".

PD: I'll check

PD: Nope, don't see it scheduled

Me: Well, is it happening? I see all the flags marking certain spots and there's tubing there and I know many of us have requested it be installed. It tends to look like it might be happening. I hope so...

PD: Well, I might be wrong. If there's stuff there, they might be

Me: Is there any way I can find out for sure?

PD: Sure there is

Me: And how would I find out?

PD: Call us back when they're finished and we can tell you what they've done

Me: Really?

PD: Yep. 'Cause it'll be finished and they'll tell us what they did.

Me: Oh...okay then. Thanks very much

PD: Is there anything else I can help you with today?

Me: No, I'm fairly certain there isn't. Thank you.

At this point, I don't know if I'm getting high speed internet on my road. But I now know when I can find out!

At least today I can breathe

When yesterday, it was a difficult thing to do. An essential part of existing, I thought for sure I was going to die.

You see, I did something to my back. My lower back to be specific. And I really have no clue what it was that I did that had rendered me literally breathless. Really. I mean, I know we all harbour our lungs in the top half of our bodies, so why was there this incredible pain in the lower half of my body every time I tried to inhale? Actually, not only was it hurting me to breathe in, it was excruciating painful to also breathe out, swallow, yawn, sigh...it probably would've sent me over the edge to laugh, but I wouldn't know. I was in so much pain that laughing was the last thing I wanted to do.

So, after a yet another trip to the bone cracker (yeah, I did this a few weeks ago and the memory of the lecture I was given about leaving things too long was still very fresh in my mind - I'm not stupid, I wasn't going to be subjected to that again!!) it seemed a little better. I mean, I could at least walk. Still had issues with oxygen getting in and out of the body, but I could walk. Which really didn't do me any good because apparently we need to breathe in order to walk.

When the good doctor asked me what the hell I did that warranted the lock up this time to be even worse than the last time, I said it could have been a multitude of things. I had, after all, spent last weekend being a domestic goddess and maybe everything that is required to pull that off did some damage. You know, scrubbing floors, cleaning toilets, washing down walls, all the things that make being a domestic goddess, well, a goddess! Maybe it the increase in weights at the gym. No wait, that wasn't this week....I was too busy drinking Spiced Pumpkin Latte's this week to even go to the gym... Maybe it was the driver's seat in The Cav and the fact that my 6'6" #1 son never puts it back to where its supposed to be in order for me not to hurt myself while I attempt to get into my car gracefully. Nothing like "falling" into the seat when you expect it to be where it usually is and find out that it isn't. Perhaps it was the dogs throwing me off balance everytime I come home and have them bestow the "happy, happy, circle dance" on me. They can get a little over exuberant and tend to slam up against me and push me around a bit. It's actually a pain in the ass (nice reference Jodie, but apparently true) and we're trying to get this under control. It was okay when there were only two of them, but now with three, yeah, we need to work on the choreography there.

In other words, I have no idea what I did. All I know is that I've never yelled "owwww!!!" at the bone crackers before. But I did yesterday. And quite loudly. And then he told me to call him at home this weekend. Because he was pretty sure I'd need to see him again before Monday.

But, my logic is, if you give the body enough painkillers and ice the injured sight and have someone around to continually re-fill your grape and serve you dinner all the while being propped up and supported by many, many pillows, you too can get out of bed the next day, breathe, walk and even sit at the computer to write a blog.

Just don't sneeze.

A couple of firsts

While I was away on my mini vacation I did a couple of things that I’ve never done before. Now I know you’re probably thinking “Really? Things you've never done before?" Yes, believe it or not, there are things I've never done before....

One of the things I did was go to IKEA. I mean, I’ve been to IKEA before and it was good. Very good as a matter of fact. I do enjoy myself in IKEA. Which is odd. I don't really care for shopping. As a matter of fact, I'd rather watch paint dry. Preferably paint that has been applied by someone else. And, to make watching paint dry even more entertaining, the ceiling paint that goes on pink and changes to white as it dries. Now THAT is more entertaining than shopping in my opinion.

But what I've never done in IKEA is not buy something. I didn’t buy a thing. Not one single item. Can you believe that??

It’s not that I didn’t want to buy stuff. I did. I really did. There is tons of stuff there that I wanted to bring home. But how was I going to get that big ass glass bowl with the matching big ass pitcher home in one piece? Or what about the set of dishes that I was absolutely dying to have but didn’t need? There was no way I could pull it off. So I left empty handed. And shed a tear.

The other thing I did that I've never done before was go to Starbucks. Don’t ask me why, I just did. Well, actually, I know why. I met some family members there and we all had coffee. After waiting in line for 10 minutes to make it to the counter, I was very surprised at how expensive it was. I mean really expensive. After getting over the shock of how much I was going to pay for my coffee I thought, well, go big or go home girl! And I ordered myself up a “Spiced Pumpkin Latte”. Venti size I do believe (the biggest cup they had anyway). I had heard that these Spiced Pumpkin Latte's were absolutely to die for and thought, why not? You're practically putting up the farm for this coffee tab, may as well enjoy what everyone else has raved about.

And I will tell you right here and right now, it was probably one of the finest things that I have ever put into my mouth. Really. It was that delicious.

So imagine my surprise when back here on the prairie I came across a Starbucks quite close to the place I spend five days a week. Turns out they’re all over the place here but, not being a big coffee shop kinda chick, I never noticed. I can tell you where every grocery store is (including a lot of the smaller "mom and pop" shops), but ask me where a Timmy's or Robin's, and now Starbucks, are and well, I just couldn't. Places to buy grape, oh yeah, I got that down. Wally's world, I'm on it. But coffee shops? Nope.

And, with this discovery, well...now we have trouble. Serious trouble. Trouble with a capital t. Particularly since this Starbucks is right next door to a really, really, really good Indian Restaurant.

In the amount of time it takes for the lunch order to be prepared for take-out, you can head next door, get yourself a Spiced Pumpkin Latte, come back, grab your food and head on back to the office.

Not a good thing.

Not. At. All.

Photographs

Only because what I have to say, I can't. And what I want to say, I won't.

I'm not liking this self-imposed gag order!

This is one of the boats at the Yacht Club where I had my recent mini-vacation. It's being put into the boat house and I'm assuming it was successful as I didn't hear any swearing.

The view from the deck of the Yacht Club. I know, I have these things nesting in my backyard in the spring, but I was kinda surprised it hung around right below the deck. Must of had something to do with the bread I was tossing down.

Doing a "dock walk" with my dad he pointed out the Blue Heron. I was zoomed in and tried to get closer but it decided that I was getting a wee bit too close and flew away.

Taken a few weeks ago (on probably the last sunny day we had until today!). See the bee?

I absolutely love this view. And I'm going to miss it. A lot. But that's for another blog.