Someone want to tell me what’s wrong with the youth of today? Please.
What part of “turn the light off when you leave a room” is so very hard for them to understand? Or, how about “no food in the basement”, “put it away when you’re done with it”, “please put the seat down when you’re done missing the bowl”, “dirty clothes go in the dirty laundry hamper…..yes, that one right there….next to the washing machine”, “clear the table and rinse and stack the dishes”….I don’t know, I think they’re pretty well straight forward statements. No twisting of words that would require a degree in linguistics to figure out exactly what it is that has been said.
I’ve got 3 of them now. Youth’s that is!! (Sorry, have no clue if that’s correct, you know, with the apostrophe and stuff.) Yes, #2 has entered that phase of life known as “hey Mom, Dad, I’m soooo gonna make your life awful for the next 4 – 5 years”. And by three, I mean yes, ALL THREE OF THEM!!!! Doesn’t matter how old you are, apparently, if you're male and live in my house, you never really leave that phase. You just learn how to cover it up and appear somewhat rational. You know, all four wheels on the ground, act like you’re playing with a full deck, look like the sharpest tool in the shed…. but only when you absolutely have to….
I call this "Hell On Earth".
Earlier this week I had drafted a blog and it was a complete and total gripefest. There were a number of well written (in my opinion anyway, you’ll never know!), descriptive paragraphs telling of just how life is in this house for me, the sole female, in a male dominate household. No, I didn’t say male dominated household, I said male dominate! There is a huge difference you know….
And I decided not to post it. It was written in a passing moment, one of those things that if you were actually saying it out loud, you would say to yourself “Did I really just say that out loud? Shit… I meant to only think it.” Yeah, it wasn’t pretty. And then I had to get to thinking about writing something that I could actually “say” out loud. Which, for me, was a first. Yes, a confession. I actually decided to instill a little bit of discretion into what I write that I might like to post. Instead of babbling off at the fingertips, putting out here whatever decides to enter my brain and make its way down to the keyboard, I decided to read it before I posted it.
WON'T be making that mistake again....just kidding.....maybe.....
It's just that, well one day, maybe my one of my future daughter-in-laws may discover this and read it and say to themselves “WTF????….You’ve got to be kidding me??…I am NOT putting up with THAT shit” and end up NOT being my daughter-in-law! The boys can read it all they want…I don’t care…They’ve lived it! That's the fact, Jack.
It’s the females I’m worried about!
I have to break it to them gently. In oh-so-subtle ways, let them know just what they’re getting themselves into, should they decide to spend the rest of their lives with my sons.
I think need a psychology course or three!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Friday Random Roundup
FRIDAY
Not much here this week. Far too brain tired as I've had to refresh the brain in things not only technical BUT mathematical....! Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Excel????
PORTABLE MUSIC
It died. My mp3 player. And now I need a new one. Just when I got used to how it works... like I need another learning curve!
PUPPY UPDATE
Nikki.... Fiesty little thing she is! Gives her mom and dad a what for every now and again! And getting big real fast!
BACK TO SCHOOL
Thank GOD!!!! It should've happened last month already...
LONG WEEKEND
Will be centered around shopping and sports and the kitchen. Back to school purchases that need to be made; football that needs to be viewed; golfing 9 holes (sorry SMG...we need to get the giggles out of the way first, then we'll do some "real" golfing!) that has been too long coming; baking which is a complete and total pre-requisite if my children are to have any friends this year (I make the best chocolate chip cookies, just ask them...their friends I mean...my boys only like my oatmeal cookies)
That's it, that's all....
Happy Long Weekend!
Not much here this week. Far too brain tired as I've had to refresh the brain in things not only technical BUT mathematical....! Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Excel????
PORTABLE MUSIC
It died. My mp3 player. And now I need a new one. Just when I got used to how it works... like I need another learning curve!
PUPPY UPDATE
Nikki.... Fiesty little thing she is! Gives her mom and dad a what for every now and again! And getting big real fast!
BACK TO SCHOOL
Thank GOD!!!! It should've happened last month already...
LONG WEEKEND
Will be centered around shopping and sports and the kitchen. Back to school purchases that need to be made; football that needs to be viewed; golfing 9 holes (sorry SMG...we need to get the giggles out of the way first, then we'll do some "real" golfing!) that has been too long coming; baking which is a complete and total pre-requisite if my children are to have any friends this year (I make the best chocolate chip cookies, just ask them...their friends I mean...my boys only like my oatmeal cookies)
That's it, that's all....
Happy Long Weekend!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Oh just be quiet!
Today’s blog was going to be all about my recent shopping experience at La Senza..I was going to tell you all about the initial motivation behind the visit (gift card saying "Here, use this for your new body!"), and then I was going to tell you all about the visit, including the details of how a woman, one I’ve never met before in my entire life, was touching… never mind…a little off course here… I was going to let you know how this experience was very different from the previous experiences. And I was going to go on and on and on about it all.
But, lucky for you, I won’t.
Because I’m nice like that.
Instead, I’m going to tell you about my evening. And, by the end of it all, ya’ll will just KNOW why I’m the girl and not the boy! And that is why I bake and stuff....
The hunting "platform” is back up and running. You know, that six foot tall "tree stand" that was built last year. The 8' x 12', need to climb the stairs to get into it tree stand....
And, due to the incredibly brain taxing week I’ve had, I felt that I needed to be taken for a ride on the quad (yeah...much like the lawnmower, they don't let me drive the quad either!) and just go and sit back there, high above the ground, out of the way of the mosquitoes, escape from the dogs and the kids and the dishes and the bathroom that needs cleaning and the laundry that needs doing….wait, shit, off track again….
Just go to the back and sit and watch and just be quiet.
Picture this if you will….
Earlier today (on the phone):
Me: Pick up a bottle of grape will ya?
SG: Why?
Me: Cause I want to go to the back and sit on the platform and watch for deer and enjoy some grape....
SG: Why?
Me: Just do it…okay?
SG: Why?
I suppose I should’ve realized right then and there that maybe I was heading into territory that I probably shouldn’t head into. That perhaps this wasn’t a spot that really invited those of my gender.
But I didn’t. I carried on (like you thought I wouldn't....LOL).
Post dinner, I continue to pursue the platform and wine idea. And, much to the chagrin of SG (or so he tries to makes me think....seriously....he did get the grape!) we got on the quad and headed out to the back.
Fast forwarding a bit, there we sat, looking at the fields and the combines working the fields and me, just not thinking about anything. Just enjoying the quiet and the grape.
And then:
SG: (whispering) “Look!!….over there….a buck!”
Me: (not whispering) “Where?”
SG: (whispering) “Ssshhhhhh”
Me: (whispering) “Where?”
SG: (whispering) “Over there”
Me: (not whispering) “Over where?”
SG: “Ssshhhhhh!!!!”
Me: ….silent…..
For the most part, all SG does is from here on in is whisper and all I do speak....apparently far too loudly!
SG: “See it?”
Me: “Where? I can’t see it.”
SG: “Would you please just be quiet and whisper?”
Me: “Okay”
SG: “Look…..over there” (finally pointing his finger)
Me: (whispering) “I see it!!! wow, soooooo cool”
SG: “Very goooood!! You were quiet”
Me: “YOU be quiet!”
SG: “Ssssshhhhhh!”
Me: “Okaaaaayyyy…sheesh” (not whispering)
SG: “Let’s go”
Me: “Why?”
SG: “Because apparently you don’t know how to be quiet. There’s only so many deaf deer out there and I don’t think a lot of them pass by this way.”
Me: “No, I’ll whisper, really, I will”
SG: “Last chance…I won't bring you back here again....”
Me: “Okay, I’ll be quiet
SG: “F*^#!!!!!! (imagine that coming out of someone’s mouth who is apparently “whispering”!!)
Me: "Don't swear!!!"
SG: (shaking head) “Would you pleeeaaase just be quiet?????? (A very loud whisper if I do say so....!)
Me: "Okay....I'll whisper"
SG: “That’s it, let’s go”
Me: “no, no….I’ll be quiet….really….I will”
SG: “Last chance.....I mean it”
And, various versions of this conversation were repeated for the next hour or so….Until the tears of laughter were running down my face and I reeaaaalllly needed to go to the bathroom.
And, while it’s incredibly peaceful and quiet back there and sometimes I wish that I was welcome to be a part of the “the platform” thing that these guys of mine do....apparently, I don't know how to be quiet.
I just know how to laugh.... and bake.
I'll take it, thanks.
But, lucky for you, I won’t.
Because I’m nice like that.
Instead, I’m going to tell you about my evening. And, by the end of it all, ya’ll will just KNOW why I’m the girl and not the boy! And that is why I bake and stuff....
The hunting "platform” is back up and running. You know, that six foot tall "tree stand" that was built last year. The 8' x 12', need to climb the stairs to get into it tree stand....
And, due to the incredibly brain taxing week I’ve had, I felt that I needed to be taken for a ride on the quad (yeah...much like the lawnmower, they don't let me drive the quad either!) and just go and sit back there, high above the ground, out of the way of the mosquitoes, escape from the dogs and the kids and the dishes and the bathroom that needs cleaning and the laundry that needs doing….wait, shit, off track again….
Just go to the back and sit and watch and just be quiet.
Picture this if you will….
Earlier today (on the phone):
Me: Pick up a bottle of grape will ya?
SG: Why?
Me: Cause I want to go to the back and sit on the platform and watch for deer and enjoy some grape....
SG: Why?
Me: Just do it…okay?
SG: Why?
I suppose I should’ve realized right then and there that maybe I was heading into territory that I probably shouldn’t head into. That perhaps this wasn’t a spot that really invited those of my gender.
But I didn’t. I carried on (like you thought I wouldn't....LOL).
Post dinner, I continue to pursue the platform and wine idea. And, much to the chagrin of SG (or so he tries to makes me think....seriously....he did get the grape!) we got on the quad and headed out to the back.
Fast forwarding a bit, there we sat, looking at the fields and the combines working the fields and me, just not thinking about anything. Just enjoying the quiet and the grape.
And then:
SG: (whispering) “Look!!….over there….a buck!”
Me: (not whispering) “Where?”
SG: (whispering) “Ssshhhhhh”
Me: (whispering) “Where?”
SG: (whispering) “Over there”
Me: (not whispering) “Over where?”
SG: “Ssshhhhhh!!!!”
Me: ….silent…..
For the most part, all SG does is from here on in is whisper and all I do speak....apparently far too loudly!
SG: “See it?”
Me: “Where? I can’t see it.”
SG: “Would you please just be quiet and whisper?”
Me: “Okay”
SG: “Look…..over there” (finally pointing his finger)
Me: (whispering) “I see it!!! wow, soooooo cool”
SG: “Very goooood!! You were quiet”
Me: “YOU be quiet!”
SG: “Ssssshhhhhh!”
Me: “Okaaaaayyyy…sheesh” (not whispering)
SG: “Let’s go”
Me: “Why?”
SG: “Because apparently you don’t know how to be quiet. There’s only so many deaf deer out there and I don’t think a lot of them pass by this way.”
Me: “No, I’ll whisper, really, I will”
SG: “Last chance…I won't bring you back here again....”
Me: “Okay, I’ll be quiet
SG: “F*^#!!!!!! (imagine that coming out of someone’s mouth who is apparently “whispering”!!)
Me: "Don't swear!!!"
SG: (shaking head) “Would you pleeeaaase just be quiet?????? (A very loud whisper if I do say so....!)
Me: "Okay....I'll whisper"
SG: “That’s it, let’s go”
Me: “no, no….I’ll be quiet….really….I will”
SG: “Last chance.....I mean it”
And, various versions of this conversation were repeated for the next hour or so….Until the tears of laughter were running down my face and I reeaaaalllly needed to go to the bathroom.
And, while it’s incredibly peaceful and quiet back there and sometimes I wish that I was welcome to be a part of the “the platform” thing that these guys of mine do....apparently, I don't know how to be quiet.
I just know how to laugh.... and bake.
I'll take it, thanks.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Smells like August
Ah yes, the wonderful scents of the season have begun to waft their way under anyone's nose that is within smelling range.
That's right. I'm talking about fresh cucumbers, sliced and lightly salt and peppered. There's nothing quite as fresh smelling as that! Cucumber and tomato salads, in a magnificent sour cream based dressing that are just to die for!
And the toasted tomato sandwiches that are sadly missed from October to right about now. They just don't taste the same when you've bought the tomatos from the store. You have them for breakfast, lunch and supper, and while you just can't seem to get enough of them, you also can't have them untoasted. Untoasted tomato sandwiches, well, that just doesn't happen. It gets to the point where the roof of your mouth is so torn up from all the toasted bread that it's absolutely painful to eat another one, but you do it anyway. They're only that fresh for so long!
Corn on the cob, drenched in butter and salt...now that is some kind of wonderful as well. You can have it boiled, you can have it grilled, you just have to have it! And lots and lots of it.
The scent of dill and vinegar permeates everything in the house and it smells like one giant pickling factory. And the secret spice that helps make the best Salsa in the world wafts through the air, making the craving for tortilla chips almost unbearable!
Yes, its August.
And it smells mighty fine!
That's right. I'm talking about fresh cucumbers, sliced and lightly salt and peppered. There's nothing quite as fresh smelling as that! Cucumber and tomato salads, in a magnificent sour cream based dressing that are just to die for!
And the toasted tomato sandwiches that are sadly missed from October to right about now. They just don't taste the same when you've bought the tomatos from the store. You have them for breakfast, lunch and supper, and while you just can't seem to get enough of them, you also can't have them untoasted. Untoasted tomato sandwiches, well, that just doesn't happen. It gets to the point where the roof of your mouth is so torn up from all the toasted bread that it's absolutely painful to eat another one, but you do it anyway. They're only that fresh for so long!
Corn on the cob, drenched in butter and salt...now that is some kind of wonderful as well. You can have it boiled, you can have it grilled, you just have to have it! And lots and lots of it.
The scent of dill and vinegar permeates everything in the house and it smells like one giant pickling factory. And the secret spice that helps make the best Salsa in the world wafts through the air, making the craving for tortilla chips almost unbearable!
Yes, its August.
And it smells mighty fine!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Okay, okay....pictures...and a word or two
As requested....photos. But writers to the pocket lint email should make up their minds, I mean seriously, words or photos...take your pick! Nah, never mind, I'll do my best to indulge both!
Crabapple overload around this place these days. Jelly, jam, sauce, even got some wine on the go (as if you didn't think I would!)
Big buck spotted on a day trip.
Nice bonfires, lots of them!
The guys. Oldest to youngest. The height wars have begun...! I am the shortest one now, btw.
Snorkelling
More snorkelling
Sleeping like that has got to give you a headache!
And just because I really love this one! Never mind the spots on the window....just look at the bird!
Friday, August 22, 2008
Friday Random Roundup
GOODBYES
Hopefully today’s was the last one for a long, long time. I’m sorry but there just isn’t enough tissue in the world for this to continue.
WORKOUT
Yes, it is just as bad this time around as it was previously when I missed 3 weeks. But this time it was coupled with 2 weeks of good eating and too many beverages…ouch
PICTURES
They’re coming, they’re coming…sometime this weekend. Geez, first you don’t want the pictures, now you do!
POST VACATION
It feels like it didn’t really happen….and it’s only been 4 days!!
COUGARS
Are woman supposed to feel like they’ve been complimented when someone tells them they’re a “cougar”? If not, then someone’s life will be utter hell for the next little while
OFF CENTER
All is well once again with the tree as it is now straight and I’m no longer feeling crooked
Hopefully today’s was the last one for a long, long time. I’m sorry but there just isn’t enough tissue in the world for this to continue.
WORKOUT
Yes, it is just as bad this time around as it was previously when I missed 3 weeks. But this time it was coupled with 2 weeks of good eating and too many beverages…ouch
PICTURES
They’re coming, they’re coming…sometime this weekend. Geez, first you don’t want the pictures, now you do!
POST VACATION
It feels like it didn’t really happen….and it’s only been 4 days!!
COUGARS
Are woman supposed to feel like they’ve been complimented when someone tells them they’re a “cougar”? If not, then someone’s life will be utter hell for the next little while
OFF CENTER
All is well once again with the tree as it is now straight and I’m no longer feeling crooked
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Two Hundred and Ninety Four
Yes, 294.
That was the number of emails waiting for me upon my return from my vacation.
Now, if I take away the 44 that were from the spam blocker, (two of which needed to be released, but they don't count, they were kind of spammy... damn donation requests!) that leaves a whopping 250 pieces of email that required my clicking on them to open.
And if I subtract the 3 that were from family, and the 5 that stated I was over my size limit in my mailbox (hello??? two 7 gig emails…people, compress your s*@#!!, I've only got 15 gig!!!) I’m sitting at 242.
All of which needed some sort of attention on my behalf.
It took me until 10:18 am to get through them all and do what was needed to be done in order to move them from the inbox to either the archive folder or mark them for follow-up.
And I started this process at 7:52 am.
Frankly, no one should be this popular.
That was the number of emails waiting for me upon my return from my vacation.
Now, if I take away the 44 that were from the spam blocker, (two of which needed to be released, but they don't count, they were kind of spammy... damn donation requests!) that leaves a whopping 250 pieces of email that required my clicking on them to open.
And if I subtract the 3 that were from family, and the 5 that stated I was over my size limit in my mailbox (hello??? two 7 gig emails…people, compress your s*@#!!, I've only got 15 gig!!!) I’m sitting at 242.
All of which needed some sort of attention on my behalf.
It took me until 10:18 am to get through them all and do what was needed to be done in order to move them from the inbox to either the archive folder or mark them for follow-up.
And I started this process at 7:52 am.
Frankly, no one should be this popular.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)