The Birch Tree Won

So, picture this.

Seriously, picture this...just how redneck can one get, honestly!

I was able to drive the lawn tractor today. They let me!! And yes, I know, with the word "tractor" you may be thinking a big green John Deere with super wide cutting deck, but no, it's a little Rally, 36" cutting deck that will sometimes cut good and sometimes cut, well, not so good.

It's always the males in this house that think they need to take care of the grass cutting. But the grass was long and there was a ton of trimming to do and be DAMNED if I was going to use the weed whacker!! I'll help out by driving the tractor, thank you very much!

So, there I was, perched upon the seat and driving this thing around the yard, cutting grass. I had been instructed to start at the back and then, once I got closer to the trees and stuff, SG would take over and I could go and have a nap or do dishes or something inside the house. "Just don't go near the trees!!!"

With a wee bit of a competitive streak and being one who doesn't usually listen and one who thinks that they can do it all and do it better! I decided that I would just carry on. I mean after all, SG was still doing the trimming and I was done doing the open space cutting. I could handle negotiating my way around a few trees, surely I could.

I headed off toward the trees. And there I was, with a "beverage" in one hand, a smoke in the other, sporting a baseball cap, cutting near the trees. And getting closer and closer.

It was when I needed to negotiate around the birch tree that things got a little tricky. This is the same birch tree that SG and I planted 17 years ago when we first moved out here. This poor tree, it has seen better days. It's dead at the top but the bottom is still flourishing.

I thought that I could get down low enough in the seat to miss the branch. I thought that I could get close enough so that no trimming would be required.

And....I thought wrong.

And now, I'm sporting a nasty little gash on my forehead. Well, not really a gash. More of a scrape. Well, maybe not a scrape, maybe a scratch....All I know is that it knocked my sunglasses and baseball cap off, I dropped my smoke and my "beverage" landed in my lap.

I'm thinking that perhaps "Domestic Goddess" is more my forte...