I know I should be blogging. Believe me, I know this. And I really don't have any reason why I haven't been. Well, I have lots of reasons...but are they valid? I think so. Do you need to hear them? Probably not.
There has been an incredible amount of trivial dribble babbling its way through my brain lately. I was sitting on the deck last night, watching the grass grow and mosquitoes rise up, looking for prey, and my mind was all over the place. It was like I couldn't finish anything I was thinking about. I couldn't get to the point where I could say "okay, now that I've taken care of that." I just kept having thought after thought after thought, run through my head, bouncing off the walls. And nothing was getting accomplished or completed. Then I said to myself, "Why are you not writing this shit down?"
I got up with the intention of doing just that, writing the meanderings of my mind down on a sheet of paper. I got myself another drink, the camera, my smokes and my sweater (it was chilly, which is a whole other post, the one where I bitch and complain about the summer we didn't have).
I did not, however, get a pen and paper.
And I should have. Because at 4:32 this morning, I was awake. Wide awake. Running some of the same crap yet again, through my head. I tried to roll over and go back to sleep, but for some reason, thinking about the state of my fridge was winning the battle over me being able to shut off my mind and go back to sleep.
So I got up. I tried to sneak out of the bedroom without the dogs hearing me which is not an easy thing to do when they're sleeping right there. In the same room. Spread out all over the floor. And it's dark. And you accidentally step on one of their noses as you try to avoid bumping into the broken ankle (unsuccessfully I might add) that is hanging over the edge of the bed, all the while hoping like hell that you'll be able to get out of the room without slamming your face into the floor as you trip over one of the dog beds. Oh yes, my bedroom, a hotbed of activity...!
I headed outside to try and clear the clutter. As I sat on the deck, I listened to the world around me start to come to life. The birds were starting, even though it was still dark. I could hear traffic off in the distance and asked myself who would be out driving at this hour? Were they just heading home? Or heading out? It was cold too. A measley seven degrees (how the hell is a garden supposed to grow when the nights are this cold? not that I have much of a garden this year, but some people do.) I went back into the house and put some clothes on. Well, more clothes. The "chinooks" have been taking their toll lately and as such, I wear as little as possible these days....too much information maybe? Anyway I headed back out and thought to myself "Why the hell is your brain doing this right now? Does all this crap really warrant using the space in there?" Well, it's not all crap. There is some serious stuff going on in there too. It's just that the random stuff is so much more.
And, as I consciously made a decision about what was running through my mind at that moment, I looked up to the sky and saw big, long, bright, beautiful streak of light.
A falling star.
I think it was a sign. I know, I know, you're thinking I'm nuts. But I do believe that that star needed to fall through the sky, at that precise moment, with me witnessing it, to confirm that the decision I had been in the process of making, in my mind, was the right decision to be making.
Only one problem with this.
I can't remember what it was I was thinking about.
Ciao!
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