I just fell off the turnip truck don't ya know

So the other night #1 came home from work and sat down and told me about how it was his buddy's 18th birthday and there was somewhat of a celebration going on. No drinking or wild partying like back when I turned 18, just what appeared to be 15 year old shenanigans. #1 took his break when his buddy came by. Here's his story.

#1: Guess what happened tonight?

Me: What?

#1: We were in the parking lot next to the restaurant shooting off Roman Candles

Me: Why?

#1: 'Cause we thought it would be fun

Me: I see...

#1: And one of the fireballs came down and landed inside my shoe

Me: WHAT???

#1: Yep, burnt a hole in my sock, and my foot

Me: LET ME SEE!!!!

#1: Mom, it's okay. I treated it with some hydrogen peroxide and polysporin, it's okay

Me: Take your shoe off and let me look at it, right now!!!

#1: Okay....okay, relax

Off with the shoe, off comes the sock and there's the burn. And he was right, it wasn't too bad. He had cleaned it up nicely and it looked like it was already scabbing over. Now that initial shock was over I asked him to tell me what happened again. And he repeated the story of how the fireball came down and landed inside his shoe.

#1: What are the odds of that happening eh?

Me: Slim and none...and slim just left town....

#1: I know, we were really surprised too

Me: Do you honestly expect me to believe that story?

#1: Mom, it's what happened.

Me: Yeah, okay

#1: You don't believe me do you? I can phone buddy right now and you can check with him

Me: I don't need you to phone buddy, I know exactly what happened

#1: Go ahead, tell me then. Because no matter what you say, you'll be wrong

Me: How about I wait until you decide to tell me the real story and then I'll tell you you're right

#1: No. If you think your so smart you tell me

Me: I think you were playing dodge the fireball and I think that buddy was aiming the roman candle right at you and you were jumping out of the way of the fireballs and you didn't get out of the way of one the fireballs in time and it landed in your shoe and burnt your foot

#1: No. You are so wrong. It came out of the sky and landed in my shoe

Me: I see....

Fast forward a couple of days and #1 is limping around the house. Now, #1 often limps around the house in an attempt to procure the sympathy vote in order to get out of doing something that I've been harping at him for two hours to do. But I hadn't asked him to do anything. He was just hobbling around of his own accord. I asked him what was wrong and he said his twisted his ankle and it was sore. I stood there for a minute and watched him walk and knew that his ankle was fine. His foot wasn't, but his ankle was. I asked him to take off his shoe so I could see his foot and he said, no. With what seemed like a hundred red flags going off inside my head I insisted that he take the shoe off and let me take a look at his foot. I needed to see what was going on.

Several curse words later and a tossed in wrestling match in order to get the shoe off, the shoe came off. And, as I sat there and watch the foot balloon up to twice its size, I thought "this isn't going to be good". Then the sock came off and there it was. There was the problem. The wound from the fireball that just "dropped" into his shoe was an infected mess. I nearly threw up. Well, not really, but I could've. I said "Let's go." #1 looked at me like I was from another planet and asked where? I said we're going to the hospital to get it looked at. The infection was spreading through his foot and could quite possibly head up his leg and if we didn't get this under control right now, this very minute, there was a good chance they might need to cut off his foot, possibly from the knee down.

After a few arguments, one of which included a shot at me about how I was going to miss Grey's Anatomy if I took him to the hospital , and well, we all know how important Grey's Anatomy is to me, yeah, like its more important than having my kid lose his leg, we headed to the hospital. Besides, they have a TV in the waiting room...

It was at the hospital, when the doctor asked him what happened, that he looked at me and he realized that he had to tell the true story of what happened that night with the roman candle. I looked at him, raised my eyebrow in that way only a mother can do, and waited. As he turned all red in the face from sheer embarrassment, he said, "Mom, do you want to tell him?". I just smiled and said "No sweetie, you go ahead".

Here's what it looked like that night. I warn you, it's not for the weak of stomach. Well, maybe my stomach is weaker than most, but regardless, you've been warned.

It's looking much better now, after 2 days of heavy duty meds and diligent cleaning and dressing changes. I don't think he'll lose the foot (but he could have...) And #1 is thoroughly enjoying the "keep the foot raised and stay off it" instructions from the Doctor. I think its the first time he's ever done what he's been told!