But, lucky for you, I won’t.
Because I’m nice like that.
Instead, I’m going to tell you about my evening. And, by the end of it all, ya’ll will just KNOW why I’m the girl and not the boy! And that is why I bake and stuff....
The hunting "platform” is back up and running. You know, that six foot tall "tree stand" that was built last year. The 8' x 12', need to climb the stairs to get into it tree stand....
And, due to the incredibly brain taxing week I’ve had, I felt that I needed to be taken for a ride on the quad (yeah...much like the lawnmower, they don't let me drive the quad either!) and just go and sit back there, high above the ground, out of the way of the mosquitoes, escape from the dogs and the kids and the dishes and the bathroom that needs cleaning and the laundry that needs doing….wait, shit, off track again….
Just go to the back and sit and watch and just be quiet.
Picture this if you will….
Earlier today (on the phone):
Me: Pick up a bottle of grape will ya?
SG: Why?
Me: Cause I want to go to the back and sit on the platform and watch for deer and enjoy some grape....
SG: Why?
Me: Just do it…okay?
SG: Why?
I suppose I should’ve realized right then and there that maybe I was heading into territory that I probably shouldn’t head into. That perhaps this wasn’t a spot that really invited those of my gender.
But I didn’t. I carried on (like you thought I wouldn't....LOL).
Post dinner, I continue to pursue the platform and wine idea. And, much to the chagrin of SG (or so he tries to makes me think....seriously....he did get the grape!) we got on the quad and headed out to the back.
Fast forwarding a bit, there we sat, looking at the fields and the combines working the fields and me, just not thinking about anything. Just enjoying the quiet and the grape.
And then:
SG: (whispering) “Look!!….over there….a buck!”
Me: (not whispering) “Where?”
SG: (whispering) “Ssshhhhhh”
Me: (whispering) “Where?”
SG: (whispering) “Over there”
Me: (not whispering) “Over where?”
SG: “Ssshhhhhh!!!!”
Me: ….silent…..
For the most part, all SG does is from here on in is whisper and all I do speak....apparently far too loudly!
SG: “See it?”
Me: “Where? I can’t see it.”
SG: “Would you please just be quiet and whisper?”
Me: “Okay”
SG: “Look…..over there” (finally pointing his finger)
Me: (whispering) “I see it!!! wow, soooooo cool”
SG: “Very goooood!! You were quiet”
Me: “YOU be quiet!”
SG: “Ssssshhhhhh!”
Me: “Okaaaaayyyy…sheesh” (not whispering)
SG: “Let’s go”
Me: “Why?”
SG: “Because apparently you don’t know how to be quiet. There’s only so many deaf deer out there and I don’t think a lot of them pass by this way.”
Me: “No, I’ll whisper, really, I will”
SG: “Last chance…I won't bring you back here again....”
Me: “Okay, I’ll be quiet
SG: “F*^#!!!!!! (imagine that coming out of someone’s mouth who is apparently “whispering”!!)
Me: "Don't swear!!!"
SG: (shaking head) “Would you pleeeaaase just be quiet?????? (A very loud whisper if I do say so....!)
Me: "Okay....I'll whisper"
SG: “That’s it, let’s go”
Me: “no, no….I’ll be quiet….really….I will”
SG: “Last chance.....I mean it”
And, various versions of this conversation were repeated for the next hour or so….Until the tears of laughter were running down my face and I reeaaaalllly needed to go to the bathroom.
And, while it’s incredibly peaceful and quiet back there and sometimes I wish that I was welcome to be a part of the “the platform” thing that these guys of mine do....apparently, I don't know how to be quiet.
I just know how to laugh.... and bake.
I'll take it, thanks.
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