When yesterday, it was a difficult thing to do. An essential part of existing, I thought for sure I was going to die.
You see, I did something to my back. My lower back to be specific. And I really have no clue what it was that I did that had rendered me literally breathless. Really. I mean, I know we all harbour our lungs in the top half of our bodies, so why was there this incredible pain in the lower half of my body every time I tried to inhale? Actually, not only was it hurting me to breathe in, it was excruciating painful to also breathe out, swallow, yawn, sigh...it probably would've sent me over the edge to laugh, but I wouldn't know. I was in so much pain that laughing was the last thing I wanted to do.
So, after a yet another trip to the bone cracker (yeah, I did this a few weeks ago and the memory of the lecture I was given about leaving things too long was still very fresh in my mind - I'm not stupid, I wasn't going to be subjected to that again!!) it seemed a little better. I mean, I could at least walk. Still had issues with oxygen getting in and out of the body, but I could walk. Which really didn't do me any good because apparently we need to breathe in order to walk.
When the good doctor asked me what the hell I did that warranted the lock up this time to be even worse than the last time, I said it could have been a multitude of things. I had, after all, spent last weekend being a domestic goddess and maybe everything that is required to pull that off did some damage. You know, scrubbing floors, cleaning toilets, washing down walls, all the things that make being a domestic goddess, well, a goddess! Maybe it the increase in weights at the gym. No wait, that wasn't this week....I was too busy drinking Spiced Pumpkin Latte's this week to even go to the gym... Maybe it was the driver's seat in The Cav and the fact that my 6'6" #1 son never puts it back to where its supposed to be in order for me not to hurt myself while I attempt to get into my car gracefully. Nothing like "falling" into the seat when you expect it to be where it usually is and find out that it isn't. Perhaps it was the dogs throwing me off balance everytime I come home and have them bestow the "happy, happy, circle dance" on me. They can get a little over exuberant and tend to slam up against me and push me around a bit. It's actually a pain in the ass (nice reference Jodie, but apparently true) and we're trying to get this under control. It was okay when there were only two of them, but now with three, yeah, we need to work on the choreography there.
In other words, I have no idea what I did. All I know is that I've never yelled "owwww!!!" at the bone crackers before. But I did yesterday. And quite loudly. And then he told me to call him at home this weekend. Because he was pretty sure I'd need to see him again before Monday.
But, my logic is, if you give the body enough painkillers and ice the injured sight and have someone around to continually re-fill your grape and serve you dinner all the while being propped up and supported by many, many pillows, you too can get out of bed the next day, breathe, walk and even sit at the computer to write a blog.
Just don't sneeze.
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